inspiration

  • My Soul Reconnection and the Peace It Brought Me

    Your Soul Knows

    I believe with all my heart that our souls know why we’re here and what we’re here to do. I also know that I had to forget most of what I believed to be true about myself in order to reconnect with my soul and the guidance that’s always been there for me.

    How It Feels to Lose Touch With Your Soul

    Ugh, where do I start? Sleepless nights, irritability, feeling directionless and filled with inner angst…wait, those all could’ve been menopause symptoms…however they do relate to losing touch with your soul as well. How about feeling lost, disconnected, ungrounded, and an alarming lack of love in my heart? Perhaps this quote by Katharine Butler Hathaway best explains my malaise.

    “If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safeexpedient and thin.”

    Not only could I not feel my deepest instincts or hear the voice of my soul, my life had indeed become safe, expedient and thin. And yes, fear played a big role in that because I’d lost my connection to source and to the larger part of me that knew all was well.

    Three Steps I Took

    The first step in finding my way back home and reconnecting with my soul was to learning to be gentle with myself. One of the reasons I’d lost touch with my soul was because I’d forgotten the power of grace. Allowing myself the kindness and compassion that I so willingly give others was a necessity in my journey back to myself.

    Being gentle with yourself means softening when you notice the tendency to be critical. It means giving yourself time and space for that which touches your heart. For me, it meant revisiting the things that had proven to nourish my soul in the past – meditation, reading and journalling – each morning before I got out of bed.

    Secondly, I made sure to get outdoors for a walk everyday. Movement isn’t purely a physical thing. It’s an emotional, spiritual and physiological experience that benefits you on so many levels. Being outdoors in nature is tending to your soul. It’s about giving yourself a precious, delicate sliver of time just for you in which you foster serene presence and gratitude for your mind, body, soul and nature itself.

    (And if there were days that I didn’t walk, I didn’t beat myself up for it. Ever.)

    Thirdly, I practice loving myself – fully, completely and unapologetically – on a daily basis. Yesterday while watching an old episode of Oprah, a young Deepak Chopra said, “your cells hear every thought you think” and I knew this to be true in a way that required no thought on my part.

    a soak in the tub soothes the soul
    Image credit: @callyjanestudio on instagram

     

    Who We Really Are

    We are all undeniably loveable no matter what we think about ourselves. Those negative thoughts you have about yourself are not the truth of who you are. You are an infinite being of love and light and if you think I’m blowing stardust up your arse then that’s your prerogative to think that way.

    I have just one question, is what you believe to be true about yourself at your core lifting you up or dragging you down?

    I used to have a litany of negative thoughts about myself that played on repeat like a record that skipped nonstop. It’s taken a considerable amount of work to reprogram that shit (and it may very likely be an ongoing process) but from the vantage point I have right now, it’s a very positive place up in that head space of mine.

    I’m closer to my truth than I’ve ever been, and that truth is that I am here to love – to give love, to feel love, to see love and to be love. As esoteric or woo woo as that may sound, I unfailingly believe that is what is at the heart of this life journey for all of us, and that’s the wisdom that’s come from reconnecting with my soul.

    Life Journey and Soul Journey Is Not the Same

    Our life journey’s purpose may be to give love, to feel love, to see love and to be love, which reconnects us to our soul, but our soul journey is much larger than that.

    Whether you believe in past lives, or parallel lives (as explained by Anita Moorjani in her book, Dying To Be Me in which she experienced a near death experience while in a coma and recovered from a 4 year cancer battle that ravaged her body upon her awakening), or you believe that this is your only life, I believe that our souls are capable of journeying far beyond what we can ever know with our physical senses.

    If you’ve read any of Wayne Dyer’s books, or Deepak Chopra’s books, you’ve come across this concept before too.

    I believe this soul of mine is what I am. My soul is who I am. My body isn’t. Look at it this way, you are not in the same body you were when you were 5 or 15 or 35, but the you that is inside is still there.

    That, my friends, is your soul and the true essence of who you are.

    My soul journey this time around has been to experience certain things that I once looked at as trauma, but that I now look at as simply the experiences through which I learned to love myself unconditionally and support others with love, compassion and understanding.

    A previous soul journey had me die in one of the world wars, (according to a palm reader), and which made perfect sense to me because I had such an ingrained and unexplainable resistance and/or avoidance of all things military. I suspect I may have also froze to death because I hate being cold…lol.

    Soul Guidance

    So what has reconnecting with my soul actually done for me? I’m glad you asked.

    While meditating yesterday morning, I received the message of “no more voids to fill”, followed by a warm wave of peacefulness within. I could try to explain how powerful message that was for me to receive but I don’t think words would actually do it justice. I also think that if you’ve been trying to fill your own internal voids, then you understand.

    The next thing I received was “magnet for good” and the image of a magnet came to mind.

    And I believe it.

    I feel it, I know it.

    And most importantly, I accept it.

    I no longer believe that I’m unworthy, or deeply flawed, or not good enough in any way.

    I’m believe I’m worthy, human and good enough in every way.

    Life will always have it’s ups and downs, laughter and tears, and difficult experiences to go through but now that I’ve reconnected with my soul, I know I’m always being guided, supported, protected and blessed.

    There is no greater gift.

    Here’s another blog you may like.

     

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  • 4 Ways To Develop A Positive Attitude Towards Life

    The way you view life impacts your experience of it and developing a positive attitude towards it rests within your grasp.

    If you’re one of the people that tends to have a less than positive attitude towards life or believe that it’s tough to change your habits, keep reading because I have good news for you.

    Here are four simple things that you can do to help you develop a positive attitude and mindset.

    How to Have a Positive Attitude

    Image Source – Pixabay CCO License

    1. Try Meditation 

    Letting go of negative thoughts and outside stress is an important part of developing a positive attitude towards life, and meditation is one of the best ways I know of to do that. When you meditate on a regular basis, you develop the ability to be present and allow thoughts to pass without judgment. When negative thoughts arise, you’ll be less likely to latch on to them and give them free reign over your actions and decisions. Instead, you will find that you are able to allow space for them to arise without attachment and as an added bonus, they’ll eventually show up less often. 

    Meditation is such an effective stress reliever, it is recommended by mental health professionals as an alternative  to medication. If you find the idea a bit daunting, or are someone who likes step by step guidance, you may want to check out this mindfulness journal. It teaches you the basic brain science of meditation and offers great tips on how to be more mindful. Your thoughts will soon start to shift and you will begin to notice more of a positive attitude and less of a negative one. 

    2. Improve Your Body Language 

    Your body language impacts everything from your mindset and attitude to the way you interact and communicate with others, but many of us don’t give it a second thought. Picture this for a moment – or better yet, try it; stand up, put your hands in your pockets, slouch your shoulders and walk around hunched over with poor posture. Chances are, you won’t be feeling energetic or enthusiastic and quite likely feel like a bit of a schlep. Now if you take your hands out of your pockets, shoulders back and down, chest open and stand tall, you will feel more confident and positive. Changing your body language may seem like a minor thing, but it makes such a huge difference to a positive attitude and the way that you approach life. 

    Superman's Positive Attitude

    3. Practice Gratitude 

    Gratitude is a powerful thing, and most of us do not practice it as much as we should. It’s easy to focus on all of the difficult things in our lives and to take the good things for granted, but this leads to a negative mindset. It also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because you get what you focus on. It’s important that you take time to think about all of the amazing things in your life, like your friends and family.

    If you need help with your gratitude practice, here’s 8 Ways To Have More Gratitude Every Day. When good things happen to you, even small things like somebody doing you a favour, allow for the grace and space to express sincere gratitude and you will feel a profound shift in attitude and perspective. When you direct your focus onto all of the positive things in life, you will experience a deeper level of appreciation and happiness.

    Positive Attitude Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

    4. Spend Time With Positive People 

    According to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, although I’ve recently read research that suggests your behaviour is affected by everyone you interact with to some degree, even friends of friends that you don’t even really know! The attitudes of those around us have a huge effect, and if you spend time with negative people, you will be influenced by them. It can be difficult to distance yourself from difficult people at work and/or negative family members, but here’s a great article that offers help, Remove Toxic People From Your Life in 9 Steps.

    If you can remove the negative influences in your life and surround yourself with positive people, it will be a lot easier to maintain a positive attitude. Keep in mind all of your connections on social media and the impact they’re having on you as well.

    Changing your mindset through meditation, having an awareness of your body language, practicing gratitude and surrounding yourself with positive people will most definitely change your attitude and your life. 

    Photo by Olia Nayda on Unsplash Positive Attitude

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  • The Pains of Birthing a Dream

    No one said it would be easy birthing a dream

    Much like birthing a child, which is considerably easier for some than others, birthing a dream has its pains as well. But don’t let that deter you because birthing your dream/living your dream/creating your dream/following your dream/achieving your dream (regardless of what you call it) yields the highest return on investment that you could possibly imagine.

    It takes years for some people to ever see their dream come to fruition and in fact, there’s a long list of well known people that fall under that category. You’ve heard the stories about famous people finding success later in life, (Oprah, Samual Jackson, Stan Lee, Vera Wang, Henry Ford, Charles Darwin, Ray Croc, the list goes on) but in this day and age of instant gratification, people give up on their dreams every day.

    It’s also important to realize that many people that do achieve their dreams end up creating something far beyond what they’d originally envisioned.

    Which goes to show you, it’s not even about the end result, it’s about the journey and who you become in the process.

    Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash
    It’s a long road to birthing your dream but the view is breathtaking.

    Birthing pains of bringing your dream to life

    Birthing pains, growing pains, pains of loss and pains of regret. They are all part of the birthing process of a dream. You have a stellar idea, a spark of inspiration, a feeling of “what if?”, and you find yourself filled with inspiration, motivation and a sudden urge to quit your job and start something new.

    While that may work for some lucky few, it may not be the best approach.

    Your dream birthing journey may also be ignited by that small, quiet voice within becoming stronger and louder for years to the point at which you decide (after reaching the highlight of your current career) that you will indeed quit your job, take a huge leap of faith and follow your bliss. This is a tough route but extremely courageous and admirable in my eyes because that’s exactly what I did.

    And let me tell you, the pains and the struggle have been real.

    However, I’d never be the one to tell you not to do it.

    Jennifer Grigg birthing a dream
    There’s a certain inner bliss that comes from birthing a dream.

    Patience and persistence required in birthing your dream

    The salve for birthing pains is largely based on two things; a healthy (the healthiest you can possibly imagine) dose of patience and an interminable persistence. Bringing your dream into reality will take every inch of your heart, your soul, your bank account and your belief in yourself.

    And then some.

    The pains of birthing a dream are not for the faint of heart.

    I didn’t believe it was for me either at first. Actually, let me rephrase that. I believed in the dream, it was myself I didn’t fully believe in. Perhaps the best part about this journey so far has been developing that belief along the way. I remind myself everyday that if I’ve made it this far, I can continue to forge on.

    You absolutely have to keep going – no matter what. Like the seed of human protoplasm that takes 9 months to grow and evolve to the point of presenting its amazing self to the world, you must press on until your time has come. The kicker is, unlike birthing a child, you have no idea when that time will be.

    Birthing a dream takes forever
    Birthing a dream feels like it takes for-ev-er!

    Doubt and Disbelief – the killers of living the dream

    According to the website Quora.com, “blind faith is having completely confidence in someone or something without any reason to do so. … Now the term “blind faith” could alternatively mean, having faith in something which you cannot observe scientifically.”

    You need to have faith, be it blind or otherwise, to birth your dreams. You will most assuredly at some point (or many points) along the way doubt what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, why you’re doing it, who you’re doing it for, and/or how much time you’re taking to do it.

    I’m here to tell you,

    “it’s ok, that’s all part of the dream birthing process.”

    You’ll even find yourself in a state of shock and disbelief at the most inopportune times, such as when you actually start doing the thing you’ve dreamed of doing and are gripped by your amygdala firing off a stress response that results in a completely blank slate where your most inspiring thoughts and ideas were a mere second before and which were about to come out of your mouth in front of a crowd of people.

    Terrifying? Yes.

    Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

    Do you know what’s even more terrifying? The fear of not living your life.

    Dramatic, I know.

    But that’s what my honest-to-goodness fear is and it’s the one that keeps me up at night when doubt and disbelief sneak in and threaten to stop the birthing of my dream.

    No one said it would be easy but…

    I will tell you something that I know to be true;

    Never will you feel more alive, free, exhilarated, awake and aware. Even if you start out as the most meek, shy, introverted, not-confident, impatient, insecure, feeling-like-a-wanna-be, over thinker, under doer dreamer, you CAN and WILL be able to achieve your dream.

    Cue the inspirational music…

    Because who you become in the process of enduring the pains of birthing your dream is like no one you could’ve ever imagined. (Don’t get me wrong you can absolutely imagine a better you, because that dream is what got you here reading this blog in the first place but you’ve no idea how much better it can be than even your wildest dreams.)

    Let me say that again because it’s super important.

    You start with thinking the dream, feeling the dream, envisioning the dream, but it’s in following the dream and taking action on the dream that you evolve into a whole new you.

    The pains of birthing a dream.

    A beauty like you’ve never known.

    Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash birthing a dream
    You live “arms wide open” when you finally birth your dream.

    Want to read more of what I dream about? Listening to the voice within, living your life, real connection, what I have in common with Richard Branson, etc…

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  • You’ll Never Be Content Until You Make Peace With Who You Are – How to Live an Authentic Life

    Living an Authentic Life

    Are you living an authentic life? Do you know what it means to live your authentic life?

    Living authentically means being at peace with who you are and living life to the fullest. An alarming number of people struggle with being who they are. They are living life on autopilot, numb to what makes them happy.

    The Struggle to be Content

    Struggle and content are two words that have no business being in the same sentence, yet most people have been experiencing that for months, years and lifetimes. You’ll never be content until you make peace with who you are. Bit of a sting to it, isn’t there?

    The good news is that you already have everything within you to create the change you’re seeking. You have the wisdom, strength and awareness of what your soul needs. You just need a little help reconnecting to those hidden gems and finding the way back home to yourself. You’ve wandered off the path but your north star never stopped shining for you.

    compass in hand

    The Longing for an Authentic Life

    You’re tired of the struggle of trying to fit in, find your place and be happy. I know the struggle because I’ve been there, in fact, I spent most of my life there. You long to be at peace with who you are and where you’re at but there’s something that’s still not right. The harder you try to make it work, the worse it gets. It feels like you’ve been fighting a never ending battle and you’re waving the white flag of surrender.

    Take comfort in the knowing that it really is going to be ok. It’s darkest before the dawn and your sun is starting to rise.

    Being content by making peace with who you are and living an authentic life is closer than you think.

    Making Peace and Finding Your Authentic Self

    How do you make peace with who you are? Afterall, isn’t that what you’ve been trying to do all along?

    No one sets out to ruin their own day, or to make their lives more difficult with the choices they make. No one likes to be in a crappy mood.

    The problem is that we’re making choices based on old programming. Programming so ingrained that its become habit and we don’t realize we’re our own worst enemy. Peace comes when you begin questioning this default thinking one negative thought at a time.

    Erin Hanson quote authentic living

    Denying the Dream Inside

    We all have a deeply personal dream inside of us that we’re longing for. The conflict arises when we deny ourselves that dream and live according to the expectations of others.

    We stop listening to the guiding voice within that directs us forward along our own path and default to the opinions of others, whether it’s spouses, parents, siblings, friends, society. In many cases it’s our own internal dialogue based on those limiting beliefs (which were actually the voices of others that we internalized at a young age and mistook for our own).

    Living An Authentic Life

    If you’ve had enough of the struggle and are ready for change, you are in the absolute best time and place in your life right now to make it happen.

    I’ve morphed from an anxiety-ridden, overly-reactive person who was rarely ever comfortable in my own skin and had self doubt so pervasive that I second guessed everything, to a woman who knows her worth and loves herself so deeply that I don’t second guess ANYTHING.

    I don’t know everything or have all the answers, but I do know myself well enough that I have absolute faith in all that I do and every decision I make and that is some POWERFUL shit.

    It’s a total game changer when you connect to that level of trust in yourself.

    Lean into living your authentic life by clicking here.

    It’s the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.

    – Rebecca West

    Authentic Jennifer Grigg

    My # 1 Tip for Reconnecting to My Authentic Self

    One of my best secrets (it’s not really a secret, but that sounded super savvy when I first wrote it lol) for reconnecting with my authentic self is through a favourite book. I get all tingly excited when I buy a book I’ve been dying to read, and all warm and fuzzy when I re-read an old fav.

    Here’s some recommendations. I have a ton of books and these are among the best when you’re taking your first steps at trying to figure out who you are and what you’ve forgotten.

    Simple Abundance is a cherished one I first read 20 years ago and I am loving the gifts it’s bringing forth in me again. If you’re a woman my age…ahem….47…this book will resonate with you.

    Sarah Ban Breathnach speaks to the very soul of frazzled modern women who suffer from a lethal surge of impossible expectations USA TODAY

    Sarah Ban Breathnach

    For the younger members of this tribe, I suggest anything by Rachel Hollis if you’re looking for a kick-in-the-ass, light-your-soul-on-fire kinda read. I literally got up and washed my face AND stopped apologizing after reading her work.

    Rachel Hollis

    And for the fellas out there, this one’s for you.

    Unfu*k Yourself Gary John Bishop

    And if you’re yet to pick yourself up off the floor because you’re going through some heavy shit, I recommend anything by this woman…

    Brene Brown

    I’ve got your back when it comes to living an authentic life.

    Jen xo

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  • Ready or Not, It’s Time for a Rebirth

    Ready or Not

    I’ll go with NOT on this one, but apparently the Universe (or God or my spirit guides or whatever you want to call it) had other plans. As often goes, our toughest challenges provide us with our greatest gifts. Those tricky but necessary life lessons that we weren’t open to learning on our own, hence the higher power stepping in as if to say,

    “Ready or not, it’s time for a rebirth (because you’re clearly not getting it).”

    I’m also quite sure that my higher power said to the other higher powers, “watch this” while simultaneously orchestrating said rebirth and sending me into a tailspin.

    It’s Time For A Rebirth

    Have you ever found yourself doing things that you thought would make you better in some way, yet deep down it felt like you were heading in the wrong direction or doing something that didn’t feel as good in your heart as it sounded in your head? Maybe it seemed a little…desperate, or off the mark or incongruent? But you pushed harder, tried harder, put yourself out there more, continued to go against the grain. And not against the grain of others, but against your own grain.

    You vaguely noticed that you weren’t feeling the way you thought you’d feel as you continued trying to do this thing…this…whatever it happened to be that you were pursuing. You ignored the feeling and pushed it down and “rallied” as a good friend of mine often says. “Just try harder” you told yourself. Maybe you even said the dreaded, “suck it up” to yourself.

    PS, you’re not a vacuum. It’s not your job to suck it up.

    You want this thing. You’ve worked so hard for it. You’ve put so much into it. It’s such a big part of your life. You’re trying so freakin hard to just make this freakin thing work out that you’re almost about to lose your freakin mind…

    Until…

    Hello, it’s time for a rebirth.

    Newsflash

    Nothing external will ever fill that void you’re trying to fill.

    Read that again.

    Ok fine, have it your way. I’ll type it again for you.

    Nothing external will ever fill that void you’re trying to fill.

    No job, no relationship, no amount of money, no diet, no hairdo, no new car or new house.

    If you feel like there’s something missing in your life, I’ve got news for you…it’s YOU. It’s not any of that stuff I just mentioned. It’s YOU that’s missing. I personally spent most of my life trying to fill that void by way of a career. I’m the queen of quitting jobs. Great jobs. Amazing jobs. Career highlight jobs. I’ve walked away from more jobs than most people have even had in their lives.

    Jen in her firefighter uniform sitting in a fire truck

    Something was always missing and it took me until like yesterday to realize that it was me that was missing. How’s that for irony? I’ve struggled with anxiety all my life and blamed my sketchy career history on it, which is somewhat true, but underneath the anxiety was the..omg…the feeling that something was missing. What was missing? You guessed it! ME.

    It’s like trying to force an engine to work when there’s one little spark plug deep inside that’s misfiring, or not firing at all. It’s not ever going to work right until that little spark plug is cleaned or replaced. Except with humans, it’s a matter of either cleaning the limiting beliefs and faulty thoughts out of our head or dumping the programming and installing new stuff.

    What’s This Rebirth I Speak Of?

    Who knows, really? I’d never used the term until yesterday. I was feeling like a complete failure after something I’d gone though on Monday and I felt like I’d made a total mess of my life so when I got the hunch to book an appointment at a yoga retreat about 45 minutes from my house that I’d come across on line the day before, I decided to go with it. The session was called a Soul Guidance session and I didn’t really know what it was but I was very aware that my soul was telling me I needed to go do this thing.

    So I went.

    In case you’ve never read my blog before, or don’t know me personally, it’s important to note that I’m a chronic over thinker and I’m always in my head.

    When I drove to this location, I was completely at peace – and totally out of my head – and I hadn’t even arrived there yet (if you’re an over thinker than you can appreciate how big of a deal that really is). I enjoyed that beautiful gift for the rest of the day. Such complete bliss for someone like me!

    As for the rebirth, it’s really the only way I can explain what I went through yesterday. I’m not going to try describe my entire experience here but I’ll sum it up by saying that I feel whole, complete, present and deeply peaceful…all the things I’d struggled to feel most of my life. All of the things I mistakenly thought I could find if I could just get right job, because it would make me somebody. That’s actually what I believed about myself. I’ve always struggled with underlying thoughts that 1) I’m not enough and 2) I don’t measure up. Theres a few other gems like 3) I’m not that smart, 4) I’m weak and 5) I’m a failure. It all goes back to childhood crap but it’s junk like these negative thoughts that derails our lives despite our best efforts.

    The good news is, these thoughts seem absolutely untrue and ridiculous to me now. Up until now though, they controlled every move I made.

    It’s All Internal

    It wasn’t anything external to me, aside from a very intuitive and gifted woman (whose name is also Jennifer) guiding me along my journey back to my truth and it all occurred within about an hour. During the session, I recall saying to her that it felt like a rebirth and that was the first time the words had entered my mind or crossed my lips. It still stands true as I type these words.

    I feel like I’ve returned home to myself.

    Rebirth

    A large part of this roller coaster of a journey we call life is the growth process, or the evolution of things. We grow, we evolve, we try new things and let go of old things. Life is cyclical and things come and go. Tides ebb and flow and so do life circumstances. The problem occurs when we hold on to things too long in a desperate attempt to make it work. The key word being desperate. You KNOW deep down when something feels desperate. You know. You may try to deny that you know, but YOU KNOW.

    Just like I did but fought it, ignored it, tried to override it and suppress it by whatever means necessary.

    You know what kind of energy it takes to constantly fight that??? Ya, you do. You know that one too.

    Through my experience yesterday, I was able to very clearly see what in my life it was time to let go of. Not with feelings of anger or frustration or failure, but with a grateful heart and a deep appreciation for all the amazing experiences that it brought into my life. Honestly, I let go of it with love.

    Results

    I’m at peace and I’m happy to have the freedom to allow something new into my life along with all that awesome new creative energy that was being sucked up to fight against that which I already knew to be true.

    Choice is yours. If there’s something you know you’re avoiding facing, you can either do it yourself or wait for the universe to say to you,

    Ready or not, it’s time for a rebirth.”

    Letting go can be a really good thing you know…in ways you can’t even see yet.

    Jennifer Grigg

    PS, here’s the link to the amazing Pura Vida Soul Institute and the catalyst for my rebirth.

     

    Jen xo

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  • Increase Your Confidence by Tapping Into the Power of Body Language

    Tap Into the Power of Body Language to Increase Your Confidence

    let go of what's holding her back

    Is something holding you back when it comes to feeling and looking confident? What if I told you there’s an easy way to boost your confidence? A pain-free, drug-free, cost-free way to change your thoughts, your feelings and your physiology.

    From Shy Girl to Own Your Damn Self Girl

    I grew up shy and introverted, darn near afraid of my own shadow. I longed to feel comfortable in my own skin and experience the joy of the ever elusive confidence code. Everyone else around me appeared to have been given the combination I somehow missed out on. Fast forward to last year when I signed on with Vanessa Van Edwards and her Science of People team to become certified as a Body Language Trainer. I couldn’t have known how one decision would change the trajectory of my life.

    What Changed for Me?

    Everyone has experienced confidence at some point in their life. It may feel like those experiences were few and far between but that’s only because you’ve trained yourself to dismiss them. It’s basic programming. If you suffer from a lack of confidence, it’s largely because you’ve trained yourself to focus on situations when/where you didn’t feel confident, and then you end up feeling like those far outweigh the former. You’re definitely not alone in this and it’s definitely holding you back from showing the world the beautiful, awesome, confident & capable person that you really are.

    Through body language training, I learned to create confidence (yes, you can learn to create it on demand) and I learned to tap into my confidence (yes, you do have it and yes, you can learn to tap into yours too).

    It all comes down to two things; your body and your mind. Super shocker there, right!?

    Confidence

    What’s Holding You Back

    Your body and your mind, or your actions and your thoughts, or your movement and your mindset – whatever way you want to look at it – that is what’s holding you back. One could argue that those two things are behind everything you achieve, or don’t achieve, in your life, but we’ll apply it to your level of confidence for today.

    We all talk to ourselves (as many as 50,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day) and if those are critical and negative, you’re definitely holding yourself back. Just think of how much you could accomplish if you’re thoughts were predominantly positive!

    YOUR FIRST STEP in letting go of what’s holding you back is to take stock of how friendly that voice in your head is. Pay attention to it and start to interrupt it and replace it with positive thoughts. If that’s a stretch, at least go for a neutral replacement thought. It takes practice like anything else, especially if you’re spent a lifetime of not paying attention to how you talk to yourself.

    THE SECOND STEP is to pay attention to what your body is doing, otherwise known as your body language.

    Tap Into the Power of Your Body Language

    One of the easiest and most powerful tools that I use to let go of what’s holding me back is…..drumroll please…..my posture.

    Carrying yourself in a certain way (shoulders back, abdomen in, spine aligned) exudes confidence and an affable demeanour. Compare that image to the posture of (most of us) slouched over our cell phones, appearing apathetic and bored. And we spend so much of our time in this position!!!

    slumped body language

    A study in Health Psychology found that people who feel stressed can kick their negative mood and even boost their self-esteem by sitting upright. Other research found that good posture was associated with better body image among people with depression. (*I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and I can attest to posture being an easy go-to to help shift how I’m thinking and feeling.)

    It’s the easiest tool I know to help you with your confidence and it works regardless of whether you’re sitting or standing.

    YOU Are What’s Holding You Back

    Not intentionally, perhaps, but it definitely comes down to you. Your thoughts and your actions are both well within your control. Before you get upset with me, I know that it is not at all easy to get control of your thoughts (I’ve battled many, demons and they were ALL in my own head – anxiety & depression, remember?) That’s precisely how I know what I’m talking about. The good news is, you can learn to take control over your thoughts, and even easier, take control over your body.

    Use your body to interrupt the self-limiting thoughts.

    If you spend way too much time in your head ruminating and over thinking, it’s supremely difficult to get ahold of your train of thought when it’s ferociously derailing. This is how, and why, adjusting your posture is so effective. Get out of your head and into your body.

    Feeling unmotivated, sad, discouraged, afraid? Sit up straight, lift your chin, pull your shoulders back and for heaven’s sake, soften your jaw! We hold sooo much tension in our jaw and in our shoulders. Now just take a moment and really pay attention to how much better this feels than slouched over.

    Now keep doing it. Keep coming back to it. As often as you think of it, straighten up. Even if you’re just watching tv, or driving somewhere.

    Continuously checking in on your posture is a game changer!

    As much as I’d love to, I can’t snap my fingers and give you confidence. But YOU can develop it. Keep practicing it. Work on changing how you hold your body in any and all situations. You don’t get a six-pack by doing one sit up. Like any other muscle you work to develop, using your posture to your advantage takes practice, but it’s the easiest thing with the greatest leverage I’ve ever found.

    Try it out and let me know how it worked for you!

     

    Jen xo

     

     

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  • This is it…your call to action

    This is the sign you've been looking for

    If you’re waiting for a call to action, this is it.

    This is it…your call to action. The sign you’ve been looking for. No matter what it is you’re mulling over, thinking about, flip flopping in regards to or contemplating, the time is now. Make a move.

    Stop waiting for the right time, the right feeling, the right circumstances and/or the right people. Just do it. Take the job, take a chance, make a move, pick one thing and just do it.  We spend our whole lives waiting for things to be just right to do the thing we’re dying to do, and then never end up doing that thing we want to do because things never seemed to be…just right. Waiting for things to be “just right” is waiting for them to be perfect, which they’re never going to be. So you spend your valuable time waiting to do it, rather than actually doing it. 

    News flash

    There is no perfect. Nothing is or ever will be perfect. Things can be pretty damn awesome, amazing, phenomenal, incredible or stunning, but don’t set yourself up by hoping or expecting things to be perfect. Anyone with perfectionist tendencies will tell you (if they’re honest with themselves and with you) that perfectionism is a killer of dreams, of creativity, of living life to the fullest. Trust me, I know. I’m constantly challenging myself to let go of perfectionism once and for all, but since I’m a perfectionist, I haven’t quite gotten it just right yet…

    This is a friendly reminder from the universe, via yours truly, that sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath and jump. This is it. No easing into it, testing the waters, or dipping one foot in. Just jump right in with both feet and the rest of your entire body and give it your all. Give all of yourself to it, whatever it is for you right now. This is your call to action.

    Man taking a leap and answering a call to action

    There is no failure

    There is no failing. No wrong moves, incorrect choices or astronomical  errors. Every action you take provides a result. Make a move, get a result. If you don’t like the result, make another choice and try something different. It may be that you just need to tweak the action you took. Life is all about experience.

    You create experiences through the choices you make and the action you take.

    Your call to action

    Sitting around thinking about the life you want to live, the things you want to do and the experiences you’d like to have will never get you those experiences. The only thing that will get you the life you want, the things you want, and the experiences you want, is to TAKE ACTION. Do something. Do anything. One little step. One giant step. This is it. This is your time.

    Need some more inspiration? Check out this quick video by Mel Robbins or this one by Rachel Hollis. Or for the fellas, this one by Ed Mylett. 

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  • Life Experience and Meaning

    Live and Die By Your Own Sword

     sword in the ground in a field of life experience

    Your happiness is dependent upon the meaning you attach to your life and life experience. What you make your life experience mean and the beliefs you’ve adopted and lived by. Try this on for size; If you fail, it’s on you. If you succeed, it’s on you. When you take 100% responsibility for your life and you understand and accept that your “so-called” failures and your greatest successes are a result of your doing, you are destined for greatness. No more blaming life circumstances, people or things beyond your control. No more giving your power away.

    You will have likely reacted in one of two ways to reading my words. Those words will either make you incredibly angry, or incredibly inspired. 

    I find it beautifully liberating to comprehend that if I fail (and I use the term loosely because I don’t believe in failure, I believe in lessons learned and new paths taken), but if I fail, it’s on me. If I succeed, that is also on me. There is genuine power in this mindset. My belief about failure is an example of a meaning that I’ve attached to my life. A principle I’ve adopted.

    Life Experience and Success

    Think of the most successful people you know of. How many of them do you think had significant struggles, childhood trauma, difficult life circumstances in their young lives?  I’d be willing to bet that it’s most of them.

    As Ed Mylett said in an interview with Rachel Hollis, “successful people repurpose the messes of their lives in a way that others don’t.”

    If you don’t know who either of those people are, you need to google them. Click here for the interview.

    As for Ed’s quote, it’s the best advice you may ever receive if you’re looking to change your life. Read it again. Successful people are successful because of what they’ve been though and the meaning they’ve attached to their life experience. They decided to make it mean something good, or to see the good in it. They’ve allowed meaning to take place in a way that benefits not only them, but others.

    Pick Your Path

    path through the woods of life experience

    Rachel goes on to say, “when you walk through a trauma or have had a hard childhood, you take one of two paths. You’re either a victim and you let that define you or it will be the leverage you need to get to the place that you’re going.”

    I personally agree 100% with Ms. Hollis. I’ve done that walk, spent many years defining myself by it, and then reframed it and finally moved on. I had childhood trauma and I let it determine and define who I was as a person, how I showed up in the world, and what I believed about my worth. I also spent years battling depression, anxiety and ptsd and was on and off meds. The day I decided I had to save myself was the day the trajectory of my life changed. How? I reframed what my life experience meant.

    Today I’m happy, healthy, off meds, lost weight and I am very much at peace.

    Life Experience and Meaning

    The meaning we attach to events controls everything. Your thoughts, your beliefs about yourself and about others, your behaviour, your relationships. The way you live your life. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? What’s your outlook and where did it come from?  Look at your life experience and what it means to you.

    I finally got to a point in my life where I was able to see that my life experience has provided me with the tools to help others. What greater gift could there possibly be? Everything I’ve been through (which, by the way, I don’t think is all that different from most) has led me to where I am now. I am in a very powerful place because I know my worth, I know how I can help people, I know my gifts and I know that everything I went through was meant to transform me into the person I am.

    Your wounds don’t make you weak. They make you a warrior, and you are uniquely equipped to help certain people that others may not be able to help. You will say the words that are exactly the words they need to hear and you have life experience that they can relate to. You may be someone’s saving grace.

    THAT IS YOUR GIFT.

    THAT IS THE MEANING YOU NEED TO ATTACH TO YOUR DIFFICULT LIFE EXPERIENCE.

    Powerful female embracing life experience

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