• Permission to Grow


    I’m reading Jen Sincero’s new book, You are a Badass at Making Money, which is a follow-up to her You are a Badassthe first book of hers that I read and loved. You can click on either of those titles to link to the book on Amazon. And no, I’m in no way affiliated with her, aside from knowing the truth when I see it, and wanting to share it with you good folks.

    Like any great read, within the first few pages, I was underlining sentences and phrases that resonated with me. Yes, I’m one of those people who highlights/underlines/writes in books with abandon and I’ve never given it a second thought. I don’t just read books, I immerse myself in them. I absorb them. I am changed by them.

    Here’s the first thing I underlined;

    “Desire literally means de sire, “of the father”, and whether or not you believe in God, your desires were bestowed upon you when you became your earthly self, along with other distinctive you-type things like your face and your personality and your affinity for needlecrafts.” 

    BAM! Not the needlecraft part, but definitely the de sire part. The things that light you up, make your heart smile, give you hope or a glimpse of the possibilities…your desires, those are what make life fun. When you’re living them at least. The problem being that so many people AREN’T living them. They deny themselves their desires. Their gifts from “the father”, if you will.

    We’ve been conditioned to look at our desires/wants/hopes/dreams as somehow less important or less valuable than whatever our reality is (or what we perceive it to be) at any given time.

    When it comes to your dreams and desires, have you ever told yourself,

    “maybe some day”

    or “it’s nice to dream but the reality is…”,

    or “work hard, be responsible, pay the bills, and then, and only then, maybe let yourself entertain the idea of what many consider “play”.

    Well here’s a friendly reminder from two Jen’s that your desires are as inherent and REAL and important as your mind, your body and your emotions.

    Here’s another humdinger I underlined:

    “We all have seeds of unthinkable badassery inside of us, yet only some of us will allow ourselves to grow.” Hmmmm…how’s that one feel? Let it sink in a little. Read it again.

    Feels like truth, doesn’t it?

    Sky's the limit
    Sky’s the limit

    I have two questions for you:

    1. What do you have inside you that you’re not allowing, accepting, embracing or bringing out into the light? That hidden desire that you’ve convinced yourself you don’t have time, energy, money, talent for.
    2. Why is it that you’re not giving yourself permission to grow, to allow your desires to come forward and show themselves to the world? Is it because you think you’re not worthy? Not talented? Not good enough? Now there’s a good one. Who hasn’t thought they weren’t good enough at some point in their lives? Who is thinking it now? I’m very familiar with that limiting belief myself. Gone several rounds with that one.

    Here’s a suggestion, grab a journal and a pen and jot down whatever is going through your head in response to those two questions. You can sit there and mull it over, which is great, but putting pen to paper (or even grabbing your phone and jotting down some notes) has an entirely different energy to it. This kind of stuff is exactly the kind of s#*t that is tripping you up, these negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. It’s what you need to get OUT OF your head and on to paper, or digital device whatever the case may be.

    It’s like clutter in your home, it gets in the way, it trips you up, makes a mess, serves no purpose – other than to keep you stuck.

    There’s great power in action. Big or small. You’ll never get to place of embracing your desires – your worthiness, your birthright to a happy, healthy, prosperous life – if you don’t dismantle these limiting beliefs that are preventing you from doing so.

    People often think they don’t know what their passion is, or what they truly want out of life. I believe we all know deep down, the problem is we’ve just forgotten. The answers are ALL within you. 100%. Sometimes it takes a little more work than we’d like to reconnect to our truth or our happy place within, but when we’ve spent a lifetime of unknowingly building layer after layer over our dreams, you don’t clear that s#*t over night. You do create a little more space with every layer you release though, and that makes the journey back to yourself sweeter with every step you take.

    Ok, it’s your turn…back to those two questions.

    I’ll be waiting to hear what you come up with….

    What makes you happy?











  • Fall Into The Blue

    When I look up to the sky now,

    It looks different to me.

    I have a new understanding

    Of how expansive life can be.

    I’ve lived mostly in a bubble,

    Quiet in my world

    Until bit by bit

    It began to unfurl.

    Today it blew wide open

    When I jumped in tandem

    The universe at once

    Seemed both connected and random.

    I was completely at ease

    Until it came time to fly

    A moment of mind numbing fear,

    And then we were a part of the sky.

    I shut my eyes at first

    As my body and stomach turned

    Once we levelled out

    I knew what I was there to learn.

    Believe in yourself,

    Live with arms open wide.

    Trust yourself,

    Let your heart be your guide.

    Put faith in others

    That show up in your day

    Embrace flight

    When it comes your way.

    If you feel inspired

    To do something new

    Just seize the moment

    And fall into the blue.















  • The Introvert Adventures

    So yesterday I did something I never thought I’d do in light of the fact that I’m a die-hard introvert. I went to a psychic fair with a friend of mine and her friend, who both sell home based products (Thirty-One and Zudora). When my friend first mentioned it to me, I thought “uh-no. I don’t do crowds, sorry. Introvert, remember?” But after thinking it over, and considered the fact that it was being held in a church (which I felt was a safe enough location-not too big, and likely not too many people) and the fact that it was a craft sale and psychic fair, I figured it was a pretty safe bet that the people that frequent these types of things would be of the quieter, laid back nature.(I had, in the past, suffered from a social anxiety disorder in addition to being an introvert, so any type of socializing with strangers/crowds/unfamiliar settings would cause me a ton of grief.) But not to bore you with that, I’m apparently over it because I (shockingly) had no issues with going or with being there all day.

    Aside from it being a fun day, simply because it was something different from the norm for me and because I was in good company, I couldn’t have anticipated the positive effects that came from venturing into the unknown for one day. Not only was it a great opportunity to talk life with a couple of other soft spoken but hilariously funny ladies, it turned out to be the catalyst for change on a much deeper level.

    I joked with the ladies about needing to call in sick on Monday because I’d need the time to recuperate. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Introvert, we need time alone to recharge our batteries after socializing. Heck, I don’t let anyone talk to me for at least 15 minutes when I get home because I work in a crazy and busy building department for the municipality I live in, and am a volunteer firefighter for (but that’s another blog-me being such an introvert and engaging in such an extroverted activity, which I love and have been doing for almost 20 years).

    Fortunately, I don’t feel drained at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Even more surprising was that one of my two teenaged daughters has had a friend over all weekend, which I would normally find draining, but it has barely phased me.

    My little adventure yesterday allowed me to tap into a long forgotten part of myself-the part that often is neglected by women, wives, mothers-that part being ME. I’m so programmed to see myself first and foremost in relation to my kids (as a mother), my husband (as a wife), our two dogs (as their number one caregiver/walker/feeder/cleaner upper- the hair and other unmentionables – after), housework (as the maid) work (as a trying-to-always-do-my-best employee) before I even think about or remember that there’s a ME buried in there somewhere.

    I honestly felt like a new person when I woke up this morning. I chatted with both of the ladies that I spent the day with yesterday, on FB this morning, and smiled at the realization of how much I missed having girlfriends. My introversion can be a double edged sword-I crave the solitude to help me maintain my sense of equilibrium but I miss out on forming new friendships and therefore don’t have many close friends, and even less that I actually go out and do things with. I thought I was totally ok with that until now.

    I’ve been reminded of the gift of girlfriends, of being able to talk to other moms and wives about the issues we all have in common, to be able to share stories and experiences and offer suggestions, to inspire and empower one another, even if it’s done through baby steps, and best of all, to share a few laughs.

    I often joke about being a turtle in a shell, who every once in a while-like once a year maybe-will poke my head out to take a look around and see if I’m missing anything.

    Turns out that I was. Thank you ladies. 🙂


  • Just Do It

     “Are you skating or just watching?” I asked my “significant other” over breakfast.

    “Um, just watching” he replied, “and you?”

    At this point, I briefly weighed both options and heard myself say, “skating” before I had really made up my mind. We were taking the girls to the locals sports and rec center for free skating on Family Day. My oldest daughter is a hockey player and skates like a pro, and my youngest daughter has spent enough time on the ice to hold her own too.

    I’ve only gone skating about four times in the past 4 years and I’m definitely no pro, but I do okay, kinda, sorta. (Other than that one time when, after getting a little too confident, I tripped over my pick and did a total “a** over teakettle” kind of move that was far from graceful. I laughed it off but my pride wasn’t the only thing bruised.

    I made my youngest daughter promise to hold my hand until I got my bearings, and told my older daughter specifically not to. (She likes to grab my hand and pull me while she skates like she’s on a breakaway and about to score a goal….scares the snot out of me because of previously mentioned “a** over teakettle” manoeuvre that I do not want to repeat.)

    As much as I wish I could glide effortlessly around the ice and weave around people like my hockey playing daughter does, I hate to even let go of my younger daughter’s hand. Eventually, I get my confidence up and don’t totally panic when she does let go of my hand. I manage to glide along (fairly smoothly…with the odd, whoa that was close!) and stay upright until she comes along again and takes my hand.

    By the end of the two hours, I’m feeling pretty good skating on my own but still very careful not to get too confident and trip myself. I’ve gone from being afraid of my daughter letting go of my hand, to actually skating away from my hockey player and letting her chase me. (Mind you, she catches me in about two strides, but still…) I watched myself go from being afraid to skate alone, to playing with the temptation to just give ‘er and see what happens. (If there weren’t so many people there, I think I would’ve just done it. However, fear of consequence prevented me from skating with such abandon.)

    After my experience with skating with my two daughters this afternoon, I’ve come to realize that sometimes, you’ve got to “just do it” as in the words of the legendary Nike ads.

    I had the fear in my head that when my daughter let go of my hand, I would spontaneously do a triple-sow-cow-type-wipeout and yet when she did let go, I did fine. Just like learning to (or teaching our kids to) ride a bike.  You might be a little wobbly at first but before you know it, you’re gliding along on your own like you’ve been doing it forever, without a care in the world. (This is where I would probably trip over my pick again, but fortunately, not today!)

    Whatever opportunity comes up next for me I promise to sidestep fear (which I’ve read stands for false evidence appearing real), and “just do it”!