empowerment

  • Launching a Dream

    July 11, 2021 marks the day that I will actually launch a dream (and I’ve had many so this is a really big deal – to me anyway.) Although I’m one of those people that thinks there’s magic in double numbers, I didn’t pick the date. In fact, until today, I thought my launch date was July 16. I’m clearly not one for setting clearly defined goals or writing down deadlines as my editor at Canadian Firefighter will attest to. Thanks for not writing me off, Laura!

    https://courses.introvertacademy.ca/courses/body-language-badassery

    The Back Story

    Four years ago, I left my job to forge a new path with little more than the soft voice in my heart leading the way. I had no game plan, no strategy or tactics, no map. Heck, I didn’t even know for sure what I wanted to do or where I was headed.

    The only thing I did know was that I hated the feeling of being boxed in, which is what I always felt when I worked for someone else. I resented having to get up and be somewhere at a set time, and I felt trapped in any workplace, as if I was selling my soul for a paycheck. I was trading my precious time for the almighty dollar and it wasn’t a worthy trade in my mind.

    I didn’t hate my jobs, in fact, I had jobs I absolutely loved when I started them, but I always seemed to end up in the same place disillusioned place somewhere between “this isn’t IT” and, “I don’t know what IT is, but this doesn’t feel like it’s IT.”

    Fast Forward 3 Years

    After wandering somewhat aimlessly, blowing through my savings and racking up the online courses (thanks to my course addiction and always thinking THIS will be the course that launches me into the stratosphere as a coach and speaker) I wound up back at the job that I’d left in the first place.

    Happy to have a sense of purpose and a steady income again, I settled into my renewed role. Actually, that’s a lie. I threw myself into my role and overworked myself into burnout. Again and again. It took me about 8 months to finally clue in that this was a pattern and to finally get off the roller coaster, set boundaries and develop a more sane approach to work.

    While I was distracted by my new mission of finding that illustrious work life balance, the dream that I’d shelved started to whisper in my ear.

    I ignored it. “Not now.” I whispered back. “Maybe not ever.”

    I had a job I enjoyed, I was making decent money, I got to work from home and travel to teach. What more could I want? I was content doing what I was doing.

    Or was I?

    Here I Go Again

    I spent three years trying to get that dream of mine off the ground. I had some success but nothing earth shattering and I was hesitant to put the time and energy into it again. Building your own business is a character builder and not for the faint of heart, which is why I didn’t think it was for me (despite the quietly stubborn resistance to being confined to anything that felt remotely like a box.

    However, the whisper refused to be silenced. I took the dream down off the shelf and blew the dust of the last year from it.

    As if by magic, a program appeared before my eyes in my FB feed with a trusted and hugely successful female entrepreneur and before I knew it, I’d invested in a 3 month journey and another shot at launching my dream.

    But here’s where the story changes – I actually did something with this course. I created something I’m very proud of and that I poured a ton of time, energy, insight and love into and I saw the damn dream through to completion for once!

    Whether you know me from my entrepreneurial journey, my writing, through the fire service or are a longtime friend, you’ve likely seen my posts or read my ramblings about my fascination with body language. I can’t help but be excited as I launch my first online course for women that teaches them how to harness the power of their body language.

    This isn’t just a course teaching women how to harness the power of their body language though, it’s about teaching them to harness their innate power!

    If you’d like to join the adventure, click here!

    I can’t wait to see you on the inside of my newly created INTROVERT ACADEMY and my first launch of Body Language Badassery – 6 weeks to unshakeable confidence!

    If I can tap into my inner badass, anyone can! Body language awareness was the key to this introvert finally feeling comfortable and confident in her own skin.

    https://courses.introvertacademy.ca/courses/body-language-badassery

    READ MORE

  • How Your Body Language Affects Others (and You)

    Ever thought about your body language and what it’s saying to others?

    Think of the most charismatic or engaging person you know and ask yourself, what is it that makes people so drawn to them? Is it their smile? Their outgoing personality or sense of humour perhaps? This may surprise you, but it’s actually their body language.

    The wallflower doesn’t stand out

    One thing is for sure, they’re not the wallflower that fades into the background feeling unsure of themselves. (Not that I have anything against wallflowers – in fact, I spent most of my life as one and if you’re an introvert, you’ve likely spent time on the wall too.)

    Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash body language

    Big and small matters y’all

    We innately get bigger in our bodies when we feel a sense of pride or accomplishment, but get smaller in our bodies when we feel defeated, insecure or ashamed and this sends a strong message to others.

    To look and feel confident, your body language must show it.

    Body language hack #1

    The easiest way for you to portray confidence is to own the space around you by standing or sitting tall. Keep your arms loose and relaxed by your side or place hands on your hips. Relax your shoulders and open up across your chest. These expansive postures will show others that you’re sure of yourself. Beware of low power postures, such as crossing your arms or turtling your shoulders to your ears as this can signal defeat and give the wrong impression to those around you.

    I’ve written another blog about body language and confidence that you can read here: https://jennifergriggcoaching.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=2297&action=edit

    Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash body language power pose

    Body language hack #2

    Confident people also know the power of eye contact. To increase your confidence, be sure to look people in the eye as you are speaking AND as they are speaking. Too often we look away, check our phone or scope out the rest of the room. This is not only rude, but very low confident.

    Think eyes are the windows to the soul? Check out this article on scienceofpeople.com that includes a quiz to see how good you are at reading the eyes. https://www.scienceofpeople.com/read-people-eyes/

    Photo by Andrii Podilnyk on Unsplash eye contact body language

    Body language hack #3

    Be mindful of the way that you carry yourself. Pay attention to how you walk, sit and stand and how you move through space. Whether you’re at home alone or at a social gathering, this awareness sends a powerful nonverbal cue. Carry yourself with pride in an open posture as mentioned above. When you do this, you look incredibly focused, confident, put together and charismatic.

    Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash body language

    Your body language affects you and it affects the people around you. It sends powerful cues to others and it’s something that you can adjust in the blink of an eye.

    What could be better than that?

    READ MORE

  • Increase Your Confidence by Tapping Into the Power of Body Language

    Tap Into the Power of Body Language to Increase Your Confidence

    let go of what's holding her back

    Is something holding you back when it comes to feeling and looking confident? What if I told you there’s an easy way to boost your confidence? A pain-free, drug-free, cost-free way to change your thoughts, your feelings and your physiology.

    From Shy Girl to Own Your Damn Self Girl

    I grew up shy and introverted, darn near afraid of my own shadow. I longed to feel comfortable in my own skin and experience the joy of the ever elusive confidence code. Everyone else around me appeared to have been given the combination I somehow missed out on. Fast forward to last year when I signed on with Vanessa Van Edwards and her Science of People team to become certified as a Body Language Trainer. I couldn’t have known how one decision would change the trajectory of my life.

    What Changed for Me?

    Everyone has experienced confidence at some point in their life. It may feel like those experiences were few and far between but that’s only because you’ve trained yourself to dismiss them. It’s basic programming. If you suffer from a lack of confidence, it’s largely because you’ve trained yourself to focus on situations when/where you didn’t feel confident, and then you end up feeling like those far outweigh the former. You’re definitely not alone in this and it’s definitely holding you back from showing the world the beautiful, awesome, confident & capable person that you really are.

    Through body language training, I learned to create confidence (yes, you can learn to create it on demand) and I learned to tap into my confidence (yes, you do have it and yes, you can learn to tap into yours too).

    It all comes down to two things; your body and your mind. Super shocker there, right!?

    Confidence

    What’s Holding You Back

    Your body and your mind, or your actions and your thoughts, or your movement and your mindset – whatever way you want to look at it – that is what’s holding you back. One could argue that those two things are behind everything you achieve, or don’t achieve, in your life, but we’ll apply it to your level of confidence for today.

    We all talk to ourselves (as many as 50,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day) and if those are critical and negative, you’re definitely holding yourself back. Just think of how much you could accomplish if you’re thoughts were predominantly positive!

    YOUR FIRST STEP in letting go of what’s holding you back is to take stock of how friendly that voice in your head is. Pay attention to it and start to interrupt it and replace it with positive thoughts. If that’s a stretch, at least go for a neutral replacement thought. It takes practice like anything else, especially if you’re spent a lifetime of not paying attention to how you talk to yourself.

    THE SECOND STEP is to pay attention to what your body is doing, otherwise known as your body language.

    Tap Into the Power of Your Body Language

    One of the easiest and most powerful tools that I use to let go of what’s holding me back is…..drumroll please…..my posture.

    Carrying yourself in a certain way (shoulders back, abdomen in, spine aligned) exudes confidence and an affable demeanour. Compare that image to the posture of (most of us) slouched over our cell phones, appearing apathetic and bored. And we spend so much of our time in this position!!!

    slumped body language

    A study in Health Psychology found that people who feel stressed can kick their negative mood and even boost their self-esteem by sitting upright. Other research found that good posture was associated with better body image among people with depression. (*I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and I can attest to posture being an easy go-to to help shift how I’m thinking and feeling.)

    It’s the easiest tool I know to help you with your confidence and it works regardless of whether you’re sitting or standing.

    YOU Are What’s Holding You Back

    Not intentionally, perhaps, but it definitely comes down to you. Your thoughts and your actions are both well within your control. Before you get upset with me, I know that it is not at all easy to get control of your thoughts (I’ve battled many, demons and they were ALL in my own head – anxiety & depression, remember?) That’s precisely how I know what I’m talking about. The good news is, you can learn to take control over your thoughts, and even easier, take control over your body.

    Use your body to interrupt the self-limiting thoughts.

    If you spend way too much time in your head ruminating and over thinking, it’s supremely difficult to get ahold of your train of thought when it’s ferociously derailing. This is how, and why, adjusting your posture is so effective. Get out of your head and into your body.

    Feeling unmotivated, sad, discouraged, afraid? Sit up straight, lift your chin, pull your shoulders back and for heaven’s sake, soften your jaw! We hold sooo much tension in our jaw and in our shoulders. Now just take a moment and really pay attention to how much better this feels than slouched over.

    Now keep doing it. Keep coming back to it. As often as you think of it, straighten up. Even if you’re just watching tv, or driving somewhere.

    Continuously checking in on your posture is a game changer!

    As much as I’d love to, I can’t snap my fingers and give you confidence. But YOU can develop it. Keep practicing it. Work on changing how you hold your body in any and all situations. You don’t get a six-pack by doing one sit up. Like any other muscle you work to develop, using your posture to your advantage takes practice, but it’s the easiest thing with the greatest leverage I’ve ever found.

    Try it out and let me know how it worked for you!

     

    Jen xo

     

     

    READ MORE

  • Life Experience and Meaning

    Live and Die By Your Own Sword

     sword in the ground in a field of life experience

    Your happiness is dependent upon the meaning you attach to your life and life experience. What you make your life experience mean and the beliefs you’ve adopted and lived by. Try this on for size; If you fail, it’s on you. If you succeed, it’s on you. When you take 100% responsibility for your life and you understand and accept that your “so-called” failures and your greatest successes are a result of your doing, you are destined for greatness. No more blaming life circumstances, people or things beyond your control. No more giving your power away.

    You will have likely reacted in one of two ways to reading my words. Those words will either make you incredibly angry, or incredibly inspired. 

    I find it beautifully liberating to comprehend that if I fail (and I use the term loosely because I don’t believe in failure, I believe in lessons learned and new paths taken), but if I fail, it’s on me. If I succeed, that is also on me. There is genuine power in this mindset. My belief about failure is an example of a meaning that I’ve attached to my life. A principle I’ve adopted.

    Life Experience and Success

    Think of the most successful people you know of. How many of them do you think had significant struggles, childhood trauma, difficult life circumstances in their young lives?  I’d be willing to bet that it’s most of them.

    As Ed Mylett said in an interview with Rachel Hollis, “successful people repurpose the messes of their lives in a way that others don’t.”

    If you don’t know who either of those people are, you need to google them. Click here for the interview.

    As for Ed’s quote, it’s the best advice you may ever receive if you’re looking to change your life. Read it again. Successful people are successful because of what they’ve been though and the meaning they’ve attached to their life experience. They decided to make it mean something good, or to see the good in it. They’ve allowed meaning to take place in a way that benefits not only them, but others.

    Pick Your Path

    path through the woods of life experience

    Rachel goes on to say, “when you walk through a trauma or have had a hard childhood, you take one of two paths. You’re either a victim and you let that define you or it will be the leverage you need to get to the place that you’re going.”

    I personally agree 100% with Ms. Hollis. I’ve done that walk, spent many years defining myself by it, and then reframed it and finally moved on. I had childhood trauma and I let it determine and define who I was as a person, how I showed up in the world, and what I believed about my worth. I also spent years battling depression, anxiety and ptsd and was on and off meds. The day I decided I had to save myself was the day the trajectory of my life changed. How? I reframed what my life experience meant.

    Today I’m happy, healthy, off meds, lost weight and I am very much at peace.

    Life Experience and Meaning

    The meaning we attach to events controls everything. Your thoughts, your beliefs about yourself and about others, your behaviour, your relationships. The way you live your life. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? What’s your outlook and where did it come from?  Look at your life experience and what it means to you.

    I finally got to a point in my life where I was able to see that my life experience has provided me with the tools to help others. What greater gift could there possibly be? Everything I’ve been through (which, by the way, I don’t think is all that different from most) has led me to where I am now. I am in a very powerful place because I know my worth, I know how I can help people, I know my gifts and I know that everything I went through was meant to transform me into the person I am.

    Your wounds don’t make you weak. They make you a warrior, and you are uniquely equipped to help certain people that others may not be able to help. You will say the words that are exactly the words they need to hear and you have life experience that they can relate to. You may be someone’s saving grace.

    THAT IS YOUR GIFT.

    THAT IS THE MEANING YOU NEED TO ATTACH TO YOUR DIFFICULT LIFE EXPERIENCE.

    Powerful female embracing life experience

    READ MORE