Life Lessons

  • Ready or Not, It’s Time for a Rebirth

    Ready or Not

    I’ll go with NOT on this one, but apparently the Universe (or God or my spirit guides or whatever you want to call it) had other plans. As often goes, our toughest challenges provide us with our greatest gifts. Those tricky but necessary life lessons that we weren’t open to learning on our own, hence the higher power stepping in as if to say,

    “Ready or not, it’s time for a rebirth (because you’re clearly not getting it).”

    I’m also quite sure that my higher power said to the other higher powers, “watch this” while simultaneously orchestrating said rebirth and sending me into a tailspin.

    It’s Time For A Rebirth

    Have you ever found yourself doing things that you thought would make you better in some way, yet deep down it felt like you were heading in the wrong direction or doing something that didn’t feel as good in your heart as it sounded in your head? Maybe it seemed a little…desperate, or off the mark or incongruent? But you pushed harder, tried harder, put yourself out there more, continued to go against the grain. And not against the grain of others, but against your own grain.

    You vaguely noticed that you weren’t feeling the way you thought you’d feel as you continued trying to do this thing…this…whatever it happened to be that you were pursuing. You ignored the feeling and pushed it down and “rallied” as a good friend of mine often says. “Just try harder” you told yourself. Maybe you even said the dreaded, “suck it up” to yourself.

    PS, you’re not a vacuum. It’s not your job to suck it up.

    You want this thing. You’ve worked so hard for it. You’ve put so much into it. It’s such a big part of your life. You’re trying so freakin hard to just make this freakin thing work out that you’re almost about to lose your freakin mind…

    Until…

    Hello, it’s time for a rebirth.

    Newsflash

    Nothing external will ever fill that void you’re trying to fill.

    Read that again.

    Ok fine, have it your way. I’ll type it again for you.

    Nothing external will ever fill that void you’re trying to fill.

    No job, no relationship, no amount of money, no diet, no hairdo, no new car or new house.

    If you feel like there’s something missing in your life, I’ve got news for you…it’s YOU. It’s not any of that stuff I just mentioned. It’s YOU that’s missing. I personally spent most of my life trying to fill that void by way of a career. I’m the queen of quitting jobs. Great jobs. Amazing jobs. Career highlight jobs. I’ve walked away from more jobs than most people have even had in their lives.

    Jen in her firefighter uniform sitting in a fire truck

    Something was always missing and it took me until like yesterday to realize that it was me that was missing. How’s that for irony? I’ve struggled with anxiety all my life and blamed my sketchy career history on it, which is somewhat true, but underneath the anxiety was the..omg…the feeling that something was missing. What was missing? You guessed it! ME.

    It’s like trying to force an engine to work when there’s one little spark plug deep inside that’s misfiring, or not firing at all. It’s not ever going to work right until that little spark plug is cleaned or replaced. Except with humans, it’s a matter of either cleaning the limiting beliefs and faulty thoughts out of our head or dumping the programming and installing new stuff.

    What’s This Rebirth I Speak Of?

    Who knows, really? I’d never used the term until yesterday. I was feeling like a complete failure after something I’d gone though on Monday and I felt like I’d made a total mess of my life so when I got the hunch to book an appointment at a yoga retreat about 45 minutes from my house that I’d come across on line the day before, I decided to go with it. The session was called a Soul Guidance session and I didn’t really know what it was but I was very aware that my soul was telling me I needed to go do this thing.

    So I went.

    In case you’ve never read my blog before, or don’t know me personally, it’s important to note that I’m a chronic over thinker and I’m always in my head.

    When I drove to this location, I was completely at peace – and totally out of my head – and I hadn’t even arrived there yet (if you’re an over thinker than you can appreciate how big of a deal that really is). I enjoyed that beautiful gift for the rest of the day. Such complete bliss for someone like me!

    As for the rebirth, it’s really the only way I can explain what I went through yesterday. I’m not going to try describe my entire experience here but I’ll sum it up by saying that I feel whole, complete, present and deeply peaceful…all the things I’d struggled to feel most of my life. All of the things I mistakenly thought I could find if I could just get right job, because it would make me somebody. That’s actually what I believed about myself. I’ve always struggled with underlying thoughts that 1) I’m not enough and 2) I don’t measure up. Theres a few other gems like 3) I’m not that smart, 4) I’m weak and 5) I’m a failure. It all goes back to childhood crap but it’s junk like these negative thoughts that derails our lives despite our best efforts.

    The good news is, these thoughts seem absolutely untrue and ridiculous to me now. Up until now though, they controlled every move I made.

    It’s All Internal

    It wasn’t anything external to me, aside from a very intuitive and gifted woman (whose name is also Jennifer) guiding me along my journey back to my truth and it all occurred within about an hour. During the session, I recall saying to her that it felt like a rebirth and that was the first time the words had entered my mind or crossed my lips. It still stands true as I type these words.

    I feel like I’ve returned home to myself.

    Rebirth

    A large part of this roller coaster of a journey we call life is the growth process, or the evolution of things. We grow, we evolve, we try new things and let go of old things. Life is cyclical and things come and go. Tides ebb and flow and so do life circumstances. The problem occurs when we hold on to things too long in a desperate attempt to make it work. The key word being desperate. You KNOW deep down when something feels desperate. You know. You may try to deny that you know, but YOU KNOW.

    Just like I did but fought it, ignored it, tried to override it and suppress it by whatever means necessary.

    You know what kind of energy it takes to constantly fight that??? Ya, you do. You know that one too.

    Through my experience yesterday, I was able to very clearly see what in my life it was time to let go of. Not with feelings of anger or frustration or failure, but with a grateful heart and a deep appreciation for all the amazing experiences that it brought into my life. Honestly, I let go of it with love.

    Results

    I’m at peace and I’m happy to have the freedom to allow something new into my life along with all that awesome new creative energy that was being sucked up to fight against that which I already knew to be true.

    Choice is yours. If there’s something you know you’re avoiding facing, you can either do it yourself or wait for the universe to say to you,

    Ready or not, it’s time for a rebirth.”

    Letting go can be a really good thing you know…in ways you can’t even see yet.

    Jennifer Grigg

    PS, here’s the link to the amazing Pura Vida Soul Institute and the catalyst for my rebirth.

     

    Jen xo

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  • Life Experience and Meaning

    Live and Die By Your Own Sword

     sword in the ground in a field of life experience

    Your happiness is dependent upon the meaning you attach to your life and life experience. What you make your life experience mean and the beliefs you’ve adopted and lived by. Try this on for size; If you fail, it’s on you. If you succeed, it’s on you. When you take 100% responsibility for your life and you understand and accept that your “so-called” failures and your greatest successes are a result of your doing, you are destined for greatness. No more blaming life circumstances, people or things beyond your control. No more giving your power away.

    You will have likely reacted in one of two ways to reading my words. Those words will either make you incredibly angry, or incredibly inspired. 

    I find it beautifully liberating to comprehend that if I fail (and I use the term loosely because I don’t believe in failure, I believe in lessons learned and new paths taken), but if I fail, it’s on me. If I succeed, that is also on me. There is genuine power in this mindset. My belief about failure is an example of a meaning that I’ve attached to my life. A principle I’ve adopted.

    Life Experience and Success

    Think of the most successful people you know of. How many of them do you think had significant struggles, childhood trauma, difficult life circumstances in their young lives?  I’d be willing to bet that it’s most of them.

    As Ed Mylett said in an interview with Rachel Hollis, “successful people repurpose the messes of their lives in a way that others don’t.”

    If you don’t know who either of those people are, you need to google them. Click here for the interview.

    As for Ed’s quote, it’s the best advice you may ever receive if you’re looking to change your life. Read it again. Successful people are successful because of what they’ve been though and the meaning they’ve attached to their life experience. They decided to make it mean something good, or to see the good in it. They’ve allowed meaning to take place in a way that benefits not only them, but others.

    Pick Your Path

    path through the woods of life experience

    Rachel goes on to say, “when you walk through a trauma or have had a hard childhood, you take one of two paths. You’re either a victim and you let that define you or it will be the leverage you need to get to the place that you’re going.”

    I personally agree 100% with Ms. Hollis. I’ve done that walk, spent many years defining myself by it, and then reframed it and finally moved on. I had childhood trauma and I let it determine and define who I was as a person, how I showed up in the world, and what I believed about my worth. I also spent years battling depression, anxiety and ptsd and was on and off meds. The day I decided I had to save myself was the day the trajectory of my life changed. How? I reframed what my life experience meant.

    Today I’m happy, healthy, off meds, lost weight and I am very much at peace.

    Life Experience and Meaning

    The meaning we attach to events controls everything. Your thoughts, your beliefs about yourself and about others, your behaviour, your relationships. The way you live your life. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? What’s your outlook and where did it come from?  Look at your life experience and what it means to you.

    I finally got to a point in my life where I was able to see that my life experience has provided me with the tools to help others. What greater gift could there possibly be? Everything I’ve been through (which, by the way, I don’t think is all that different from most) has led me to where I am now. I am in a very powerful place because I know my worth, I know how I can help people, I know my gifts and I know that everything I went through was meant to transform me into the person I am.

    Your wounds don’t make you weak. They make you a warrior, and you are uniquely equipped to help certain people that others may not be able to help. You will say the words that are exactly the words they need to hear and you have life experience that they can relate to. You may be someone’s saving grace.

    THAT IS YOUR GIFT.

    THAT IS THE MEANING YOU NEED TO ATTACH TO YOUR DIFFICULT LIFE EXPERIENCE.

    Powerful female embracing life experience

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  • Create A Shift in Your Thinking

    Sunrise shift in perspective
    Sunrise – A shift in perspective

    Perception is Everything

    How do you think a shift in your thinking happens? Naturally, organically, of it’s own accord? Does it need to be precipitated by an outside experience or event? How and when does your perception of a situation change? What causes a shift in your thinking? I often find that I get a new perspective from reading and I’m an obsessive reader. I love, love, love my books. Sometimes, it will be a movie that spurs a change of awareness, and often times it’s from a deep conversation with a kindred spirit.

    I Am Not Your Guru

    I’ve had many “a-ha” moments of sudden understanding or awareness in my life and I seem to be going through a phase where they’re occurring in increasing frequency. So, so many shifts in perception and my thinking. In fact, it’s one of these very moments that inspired me to write this blog, in this moment. I’m watching the Tony Robbins Documentary, I AM NOT YOUR GURU for the third time. It’s been probably a year or two since I last watched it and I’m amazed at things that I’d missed the first and second time, that are capturing my attention now.

    Tony Robbins purpose.com
    Tony Robbins from purpose.com

    Truth Hurts

    You know that thing you’re struggling with right now? Probably just popped into your head, whatever that thing is for you. If it didn’t, you’re likely consciously avoiding letting yourself think about it. One might even go so far as to say that you’re in denial about it. 😉 Do yourself a favour and let it surface because there’s a serious shift in your thinking waiting for you in this.

    Whatever you’re struggling with, I’m willing to bet that you’re blaming someone else for it and holding someone else accountable. It’s so much easier to blame them than take responsibility for it ourselves. If we take responsibility for it, we have to do something about it, or chose not to as the case may be. Here’s the kicker, you’re giving your power away to them, AND, they probably have no idea, nor do they care, that they’re seemingly holding the cards of your life right now.

    I know it may suck to hear this, but I’ve lived this so I totally get it. I blamed my depression, anxiety and PTSD on some ill begotten friends of my brothers who made incredibly poor choices about how to behave with me as a 10 year old and proceeded to blame them until I was in my 40’s.

    Like I said, I get it.

    this is what depression looks like
    This is what depression looks like.

    The Shift in Your Thinking

    Here’s where the shift in your thinking happens. Whether your struggle is with your financial issues (that you may be blaming your parents for because they controlled the money and didn’t teach you how to have a relationship with it), or for the women-men issues (because you didn’t get the love you craved from your dad so you’ve spent much of your adult life placing that burden on your spouse), or for the men-perhaps the opposite, being mom issues (I can’t specifically speak to this one but it’s likely the same as the daddy issues we women tend to have), or the whole insecure, self worth, self esteem issue (that I blamed those boys for). Yes, those are all my real life issues I’ve worked through, aside from the mom-son dynamic obviously.

    Whatever you’re blaming that one person (or group of people for), you also need to thank them for. Blame them for the good, but also blame them for the (perceived) bad. Because whatever you hated about that situation/struggle/experience/relationship, those same elements have caused you to be the opposite/look for the opposite/create the opposite in your life.

    Stick with me here…

    My financial issues stem from me not understanding money; it’s value, it’s worth, it’s place in my life. As a child, my dad worked and my mom stayed home and volunteered at the Y. In my limited awareness that a youngster has, I saw that my dad had the money and made the decisions. If I asked for something I wanted, such as the clothes that the cool kids were wearing (Beaver Canoe, Gender Benders, Tretorns, Roots, etc.) I was made to feel guilty for wanting those things, selfish for asking for those things, and ultimately that I didn’t deserve to have those things. Tell me that doesn’t mess you up to have those (unconscious) beliefs running in the background all your freakin’ life!

    The Flip Side

    The flip side of feeling negative about the lessons learned from my dad (like men control the money, and I’m not worthy of having money). The shift in thinking came when I realized that I learned positive lessons from his as well, like the fact that I have a great credit rating (because I’m good at paying my debts). The problem is that we tend to focus on the negative, like way too much, and flat out deny any good that came from the situation.

    Another Example

    I mentioned the bit about my brother’s friends and without getting into all that here (my book is available on this website if you’re interested in the rest of the story). For years, and I mean years, they had power over me, first because I didn’t tell anyone until I was in my late 30’s, and secondly because I allowed them to have that power. Once I started working with a therapist, I was able to reframe those experiences and what they meant, but that’s in the book too.

    Rewriting Life An Introvert's Journey: Finding Peace & Perspective Through the Denial & Depression
    Rewriting Life An Introvert’s Journey: Finding Peace & Perspective Through the Denial & Depression

    Blame Game

    My point here is that I blamed them for my low self esteem, fear of life in generally, fear of people, my shyness, low self worth, insecurities with males in general, I could go on. It was supremely beneficial for me to take back my power but also even more powerful to be able to blame them for the good. The early experiences shaped the person I am today and allow me to lead with compassion and empathy for people almost like it’s a default setting.

    But also, and perhaps even more amazing, is that those experiences taught me to treat people better. To never want to put someone in a difficult situation, make anyone feel uncomfortable, or take advantage of anyone. I thank them for making me an advocate for mental health issues, respectful treatment of each other and empowering women, and men, to make better choices. It taught me to seek out and create a marriage that is kind, respectful and nurturing, where there is a balance of power and no one is over powering the other.

    The Gift

    I’m so much better of a person now than I would’ve ever been had those (traumatic at the time) experiences not ever happened to me.

    A shift in your thinking, looking for the positive lessons that you’ve learned from those you blame for the negative, will change your life. It will create space to breathe where there was restriction before. It will allow lightness where there was heaviness, and will open you to new levels of healing, of love and forgiveness that you never thought was possible.

    I would not have the drive, the compassion or the perseverance I have today if it weren’t for my life experiences when I was younger, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I happily “blame” my dad, my brother’s friends, and every other seemingly negative experience I’ve ever had for making me who I am today.

    Jennifer Grigg

     

     

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  • Step Into Your Power and Share Your Gifts

    Step Into Your Power and Into the Light

    The Right Words

    Step into your power. I’d scrawled these four words across the back of my hand in black pen while driving  home the other day after they’d appeared in my consciousness. I’d been mulling over a conversation  which had caused a powerful moment of awareness for me that I’d just had with the lovely young lady who does my lashes.

    We were having a spirited chat about the need to narrow down your niche and identify your target audience when starting a new business. I struggled with identifying my niche because I felt that I had 3 separate and distinct areas of interest, and couldn’t seem to bring them together. Everything felt disconnected, fragmented.

    My astute friend Olympia helped me realize that I was looking at it all backwards. I was struggling because I thought that my business had to be built on one or all of my areas of expertise (body language training, holistic wellness coaching, and/or speaking). I mistakenly believed that the services I offered-the ways in which I was able to assist others-were the foundation of my business and that I had to choose which one to focus on in order to identify my target audience.

    My Smile When I Step Into My Power

    The A-HA Moment

    The blindingly obvious A-HA moment occurred when I realized that you don’t build a business around what you do, you build it around who you are. I AM my business. My services or my areas of expertise are merely the tools through which I’m able to assist others. BAM!

    Much of my life I’d looked to the outside world for validation. Many times I thought that a particular job finally made me a “somebody”, or that it was being a firefighter that made me special or valuable. (Being a firefighter is an honour and a privilege and I’m very proud to be one, but it doesn’t define me or make me valuable. Being a human being makes me valuable and worthy.) Nothing external can provide the validation you’re looking for. That sense of self can only come from within.

    When I suddenly understood that I am it, that I am where my business starts and ends, I felt whole and complete on such a profound level. It felt like all the puzzle pieces of my life had finally come together. My job was to show up fully, every single day, everywhere I go. It wasn’t about being one person/persona/personality in one environment and a different one in another. (I’m not talking about false facades, I’m referring to my personal struggle with the dichotomy of strength (the firefighter) and soft (the pink loving, inspirational/spiritual/motivational posting girly girl). The aspects of me that seemed to be opposite and disjointed up until now.

    Step Into Your Power

    When the words STEP INTO YOUR POWER arrived in my mind/heart/soul/awareness that day, I had to reach for a pen and write them down on my left hand as I held the steering wheel. I knew they held great relevance in my life and although I didn’t fully comprehend the extent at the time, it has become clear in the days since.

    In working with an amazing brand strategist (Trust me. Look her up. Cherene Francis), those four words, STEP INTO YOUR POWER, came to life as she helped me connect the dots of my life experience in relation to my gift to share with the world.

    My struggle has always centred around a power imbalance, which started by having my power taken away from me at a young age by my older brother’s friends. It became a theme throughout my life. Jobs, relationships, family. It’s always been there. But now, now I lovingly see that it’s no longer my theme.

    When It All Comes Together

    My life experience, my professional experience, my thirst for knowledge and understanding-of myself and of others-my deep desire to help others and serve the world in a way that I’ve been gifted to do. They’ve all come together at 46 (47 in a week).

    This isn’t just my story. This is everyone’s story. We ALL have unique life experience, stories, struggles, and triumphs, which have created your own unique gift to bring into the world.

    The world is waiting for you to STEP INTO YOUR POWER!

    Step Into Your Power like Wonder Woman

     

     

     

     

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  • Inspiration Tip #3 of 3 Tips for Life Change

    The benefit of happy thoughts
    Me full of happy thoughts

    Inspiration Tip # 3

    Inspiration tip #3 for changing your life is all about the little voice in your head that is either lifting you up or dragging you down. Have you ever thought about HOW you talk to yourself? Are you hard on yourself? Critical? Negative? or generally upbeat,postivie and encouraging with yourself.  

    What’s your self talk like?

    I’m one of those constantly-in-my-head overthinking type people (I think it’s an introvert thing) and I’ve spent a lot of time working to get the upper handle on the little voice and it’s narrative. Fortunately for me, and hopefully you, inspiration hit me this morning on how to take back control of this little blonde maniac upstairs.

    My Epiphany

    My epiphany occurred when I realized that self talk comes down to being one of two things (negative or positive) and the trick is to interrupt the pattern when it’s negative. Gaining control over your self talk is really just a matter of conditioning yourself, much the way you condition yourself to eat healthier or exercise. You have to be consistent in your efforts, and like any other endeavour, change will come.

    Try this approach with your self talk; GO or NO GO.

    GO or NO GO

    You will have to monitor your thoughts throughout the day in order to apply this logic at first but over time it will become habit through something called muscle memory and you won’t have to think about it. All you really have to do is check in with yourself and with your thoughts. Since most of what we think is autopilot kind of stuff, we’re not even consciously aware of what we’re actually thinking about, or the extent to which our thoughts are controlling our actions and feelings. Having awareness of our thoughts, and if they’re negative or positive, gives us a sense of control right there.

    The Simple 3 Step Process

    Step 1

    When a thought comes up that doesn’t feel good (again, having the awareness of your thoughts is key so it’s important to check in with yourself) ask yourself, “is this thought a GO, as in, does it make me feel good?, or is it a NO GO, as in it makes me feel like sh*t. Or makes me feel yucky/uncomfortable/sad etc.

    If it’s good, make note of it. It’s helpful to be aware of how often you are thinking supportive, helpful thoughts because our thinking creates our feelings and we want to focus on feeling good. This would be a GO.

    If it’s a thought that creates any of the above noted feelings, it’s a NO GO. Call it what it is. Label it. Interrupt it. Most of our thoughts are just ingrained and automatic and we’re not always aware of them and what they’re actually doing to us. These negative, self limiting thoughts and thinking patterns were  created way back in our life experience due to an event that occurred, and that we attached a certain meaning to. It’s like a groove on a record (yes, I’m that old that I just used a record for an analogy). Reprogramming or reconditioning ourselves and our thinking patterns is like grabbing the needle and dragging it across a record. Did you just hear that? ZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT

    We are interrupting the train of thought.

    DISRUPTING the thought pattern.

    Step 2

    If it’s a NO GO, congrats for recognizing that! You’re already a step closer to kicking it to the curb. Next you need to replace it with another thought. We’re reprogramming right? So you need to give your brain something else or it will just stick in it’s current, not-helpful-at-all groove. Find something kinder to say to yourself. If that’s a struggle see Step 3.

    Step 3

    Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a good friend. We get so caught up in the emotional attachment to who we think we are and what we think is true about ourselves that we lack the ability to be objective. Ask yourself, “what would I say to (insert name here) if they were stuck in the same rut?” You’ll be amazed at the wealth of helpful advice and supportive words you’d have for your friend that you wouldn’t have necessarily be able to reach for when talking to yourself.

    That’s it! I literally JUST came up with this so let’s all try it out and see if it works. If you DO give the 3 steps a try and you find that it does work, comment below or shoot me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

    Sunglasses and Inner thoughts

     

     

     

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  • Inspiration Tip #2 of 3 Tips for Life Change

    Waiting for the inspiration to start the day
    Waiting for the inspiration to start the day

    Life Change Inspiration 

    Inspiration comes in all shapes and forms, and often takes it’s sweet time finding its way to us. I wrote the first blog in a 3 blog series 3 Ways to Change Your Life  in July, to provide inspiration and motivation for you to gain control over your life. It’s taken me this long to get to the second blog. So long in fact, that the name of the blog series even changed as this little inspirational journey evolved. Any guesses on what my inspirational tip #2 is to change your life?

    The Inspiration Procrastination Conundrum…lol. Seems fitting, right? Similar to dealing with your SH*T (see blog 1) but different.

    Right now, I want you to consider the question – what is it that I procrastinate over?

    You may see that there are certain areas of your life where you tend to procrastinate. Some areas you may be highly effective at dealing with, always finding the inspiration and motivation to keep things up to snuff, but you know there are other areas that you avoid at all costs. Maybe it’s your finances (anyone behind on their taxes?), your fitness (how do you really feel in this body of yours right now in this moment?), or your job (do you still feel fulfilled and of service in the work you’re doing?). No judgement here. I’ve been in all of those places.

     The Inspiration to Procrastinate

    We tend to put off doing the things we know we need to do because we think it’s more uncomfortable to do them, and we think it’s easier not to. We’re more inspired not to do them, than to do them. However, the actual discomfort is in the disconnect we’re creating in ourselves. As human beings, we’re wired to continue to grow and evolve. We crave inspiration and motivation to nudge us into action. Avoidance is by nature stagnant. Passive. A zero growth experience. So not only are we going against the very thing we’re designed to do, we’re causing an energetic drain on our internal resources.

    When you procrastinate, put off, avoid or ignore something, you may think you’re doing yourself a favour but in reality you’re torturing yourself. The thing you’re avoiding sits in the back of your mind, watching, waiting and making you feel like you’re a little bit less of yourself while the rest of who you are (call it your heart, soul, higher consciousness) knows you’re not living up to your potential.

    The amount of time you’ve spent thinking about and avoiding whatever that thing is that you’re avoiding far outweighs the time it takes to actually do the thing. So you sit around, avoiding the thing, doing other things that you think are better than doing the thing, feeling a little sheepish because you know you’re copping out on something, and wondering why other things you normally dislike doing (ie; cleaning the toilet) all the sudden become a priority just because you don’t want to do the thing you know has to be done sooner or later.

    Here’s another element here to grasp. The thing you’re dodging has to be dealt with sooner or later and odds are, the longer you wait, the more/worse/harder/bigger/yuckier the thing becomes that you have to face.

    The Inspiration Procrastination Silver Lining

    There is good news in all of this though. By taking one small step towards the thing you’re avoiding the way like sides of a magnet repel each other, you feel like you’ve conquered Mount Everest. You already feel a sense of accomplishment and you haven’t even necessarily completed the job/task/thing. You find your inspiration. Taking action is powerful. POWERFUL. It shows the world, the universe, the part of your tiny little pea brain that’s been talking you into the path to avoidance, that you are taking control. One small movement towards rather than away from creates a ripple effect. You start to think differently about what you can do, you begin to feel differently energetically, and you act differently because you’re shifting a pattern of passivity.

    Inspiration found standing on the shore at sunrise
    Inspiration found

    Now some of you may be thinking, “But Jen, I have so much stuff on my plate and so many things I gotta do I end up procrastinating on everything, get overwhelmed and don’t know where/how to start.”

    An easy trick I learned from one of my mentors is to ask yourself

    “What is one thing I need to do today?”
    You may have many things you should do, need to do, want to do but if you just give it a moment, the answer will come to you. Seriously, listen for the answer. The one thing you need to deal with today. It’s not that those other things are going anywhere but they weren’t anyway because you were avoiding them, remember?

    The bonus is that when you deal with that one thing, you feel like a freakin’ rock star and are amazed at the sense of accomplishment you’ve generated all on your own by doing one simple thing and you wonder what other things you can get done in that same day. You don’t have to go looking for inspiration, you’ve created it all on your own. You also feel lighter – physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically.

    Like I do…right now…because I finally wrote my #2 blog…7:45 am. I wonder what other awesomeness this day holds for me?

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  • 3 Ways to Change Your Life

    I’m one of those people who looks for the lesson in everything, sometimes annoyingly so. Most of the times it’s a great thing but there have been times where I’ve almost driven myself nuts trying to find the reason behind things.

    What do I do in those moments or situations when I just don’t get it? Or when I can’t seem to mentally figure out why something happened the way it did/when it did/how it did? I remind myself that even though I may not see the reason initially, I do understand that 1 of 2 things will happen; either the reason will reveal itself in time, or being ok with things as they are without seeing the obvious reason, is the reason or lesson. Some might call it presence, zen, or being-ok-with-whatever-is-going-on-and-still-living-a-happy-and-fulfilled-life.

    Profound, eh?

    And yes, I’m clearly Canadian. 🙂

    OK, so here’s #1 of my 3 ways to change your life…

    1. DEAL WITH YOUR S#*T – If you’ve identified a problem/issue/concern/circumstance/etc in your life that you are not OK with, (as in it upsets/bothers/frustrates/irritates/exacerbates/annoys you-you get the picture) you have 3 choices;
      1. Complain about it (this is usually done to other people that can’t do anything about the situation and gets you nowhere really, aside from all fired up and left with feeling blechy because you have all those pent up negative vibes coursing through your veins now).
      2. Avoid it (as a recovering avoider, I speak from experience when I say that this is the WORST option. Not only is the problem sucking the life out of you, permeating your thoughts and sabotaging your happy happy, it’s not going anywhere. It will remain front and centre for as long as you continue to avoid dealing with it. At best, you’ll fool yourself into thinking that you’re handling it by trying not to think about it, in which case you’re still thinking about it and it’s still draining your mojo like a battery with a rogue entity stealing it’s charge. invisible and relentless).
      3. Deal with it. You know there’s an issue. Find a way to deal with it. You do this by:
        1.  Talking with a trusted friend (NOT the one that always tells you what you want to hear and adds fuel to your fire by telling you you’re completely justified in what you’re thinking/feeling and offers no helpful advice other than to put ex-lax in the offender’s coffee like something out of a dumb movie ;))
        2. Taking steps to address the issue. Big steps, small steps, the size of the step is not as important as the fact that you just take a step. This helps you feel some sense of control – because you’re using your valuable energy to do something about it and not to avoid it – and takes the intensity out of the situation so it doesn’t loom so heavily over you.

    It’s quite possible that you may never see the situation resolved the way you initially expected, but that won’t even matter. It’s not about the outcome in this case, it’s about the process. It’s about what changes occur in YOU when you take action. It creates this ripple effect in your brain that says things like, “Hey! What’s going on? He/she is doing something about this nagging situation. This isn’t our usual avoidance protocol”, followed by, “Hmmm, this is new and weird and kinda scary but I also kinda like it. It actually feels good”, and also, “What else can we do with little effort and big benefit? WE could totally take over the world!!!” 

    It’s far more about the person you become in the process, than the getting of the end result. Besides, once you start taking action on things and see how super capable you are of calling the shots and being in control of YOUR life, the thing that got you started on this new and exciting journey in the first place probably won’t even phase you anymore.

    You’ll see way beyond that to far bigger and better things to set your new action-taking awesome sights on.

    Stay tuned for my mind blowing #2 way to change your life in the next blog.

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  • Depression and Anxiety Do Not Have To Be A Life Sentence

    My Journey - Jennifer Grigg

    Five years ago I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (it was MAJOR, and it was DEPRESSING and I was completely OUT OF ORDER), generalized anxiety disorder (yes, I was a little high strung…ok a lot…and…a lot of the time…and about pretty much everything), social anxiety disorder (so much for always blaming it on my introversion), PTSD (that one is a real bitch to deal with) and as if that wasn’t all bad enough, I was also gifted with something called PMDD premenstrual dysmorphic disorder (because PMS wasn’t enough, I apparently needed to super size it.) For some, receiving that info may have been devastating, but for me it was validation for why I’d endured a lifetime of low self worth, low self esteem and no self confidence….and REALLY hated parties and social gatherings of any and all types. Normal for introverts but this was extreme.

    I can make fun of it now, but that’s because I have enough distance from it to see it from a different perspective. A perspective that was absolutely not available to me during the better part of my life while I was deep into the quagmire of mental health issues.

    I deeply respect and fully appreciate the struggle of those who are going through any mental health issues/challenges/battles now and will absolutely hold space for any soul that reaches out to me. I get it. I’ve been there and done that. I looked into the abyss and if it weren’t for the two beautiful humans that I birthed into this world, I wouldn’t be here today. As much as I wanted the incessant torment and inner turmoil to end, I just could not leave them.

    The diagnosis served as acknowledgement from a mental health professional (a psychiatrist) and an explanation of why I always felt like I was inherently and hopelessly flawed. It all tracked back to a difficult childhood that I’d kept to myself until I was in my late 30’s. I had vehemently decided I’d take it to my grave rather than ever tell anyone. Little did I know, the memories that I’d buried so deeply started to bubble to the surface and demanded to be seen, felt, heard, relived and ultimately faced and released.

    Thus began the real journey… I’d been on and off antidepressants over the years (I’m med free and doing beautifully), I wrote and self published a book about my journey, I walked away from jobs – most recently my career highlight and most-money-I’ve-ever-made job (because ironically it didn’t fulfill me) with nothing other than a steadfast commitment to following my bliss – and I decided to start a coaching business from scratch. I left my job December 1, and have been busy building my business ever since.

    How I desire to be of service is this:

    I’ve learned to do things that I once thought were impossible. I want to help others do the same.

    Depression and anxiety do not have to be life sentences, we’ve just been conditioned to think they do.

    An unfulfilling job doesn’t have to hold you hostage, we just think it does.

    You can’t make money by just being you. Why not?? I’m out to prove this one wrong right now.

    I’m of the mindset that when I hear “you can’t do that”, whether it’s from someone else or my own mind talking trash, my automatic response now is, “Oh ya? Watch me.” 

    “When the voice on the inside becomes louder and clearer than the voices on the outside, that’s when you know you’re onto something good.” Dr. John Demartini.

     

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