Inspiration

  • My Soul Reconnection and the Peace It Brought Me

    Your Soul Knows

    I believe with all my heart that our souls know why we’re here and what we’re here to do. I also know that I had to forget most of what I believed to be true about myself in order to reconnect with my soul and the guidance that’s always been there for me.

    How It Feels to Lose Touch With Your Soul

    Ugh, where do I start? Sleepless nights, irritability, feeling directionless and filled with inner angst…wait, those all could’ve been menopause symptoms…however they do relate to losing touch with your soul as well. How about feeling lost, disconnected, ungrounded, and an alarming lack of love in my heart? Perhaps this quote by Katharine Butler Hathaway best explains my malaise.

    “If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safeexpedient and thin.”

    Not only could I not feel my deepest instincts or hear the voice of my soul, my life had indeed become safe, expedient and thin. And yes, fear played a big role in that because I’d lost my connection to source and to the larger part of me that knew all was well.

    Three Steps I Took

    The first step in finding my way back home and reconnecting with my soul was to learning to be gentle with myself. One of the reasons I’d lost touch with my soul was because I’d forgotten the power of grace. Allowing myself the kindness and compassion that I so willingly give others was a necessity in my journey back to myself.

    Being gentle with yourself means softening when you notice the tendency to be critical. It means giving yourself time and space for that which touches your heart. For me, it meant revisiting the things that had proven to nourish my soul in the past – meditation, reading and journalling – each morning before I got out of bed.

    Secondly, I made sure to get outdoors for a walk everyday. Movement isn’t purely a physical thing. It’s an emotional, spiritual and physiological experience that benefits you on so many levels. Being outdoors in nature is tending to your soul. It’s about giving yourself a precious, delicate sliver of time just for you in which you foster serene presence and gratitude for your mind, body, soul and nature itself.

    (And if there were days that I didn’t walk, I didn’t beat myself up for it. Ever.)

    Thirdly, I practice loving myself – fully, completely and unapologetically – on a daily basis. Yesterday while watching an old episode of Oprah, a young Deepak Chopra said, “your cells hear every thought you think” and I knew this to be true in a way that required no thought on my part.

    a soak in the tub soothes the soul
    Image credit: @callyjanestudio on instagram

     

    Who We Really Are

    We are all undeniably loveable no matter what we think about ourselves. Those negative thoughts you have about yourself are not the truth of who you are. You are an infinite being of love and light and if you think I’m blowing stardust up your arse then that’s your prerogative to think that way.

    I have just one question, is what you believe to be true about yourself at your core lifting you up or dragging you down?

    I used to have a litany of negative thoughts about myself that played on repeat like a record that skipped nonstop. It’s taken a considerable amount of work to reprogram that shit (and it may very likely be an ongoing process) but from the vantage point I have right now, it’s a very positive place up in that head space of mine.

    I’m closer to my truth than I’ve ever been, and that truth is that I am here to love – to give love, to feel love, to see love and to be love. As esoteric or woo woo as that may sound, I unfailingly believe that is what is at the heart of this life journey for all of us, and that’s the wisdom that’s come from reconnecting with my soul.

    Life Journey and Soul Journey Is Not the Same

    Our life journey’s purpose may be to give love, to feel love, to see love and to be love, which reconnects us to our soul, but our soul journey is much larger than that.

    Whether you believe in past lives, or parallel lives (as explained by Anita Moorjani in her book, Dying To Be Me in which she experienced a near death experience while in a coma and recovered from a 4 year cancer battle that ravaged her body upon her awakening), or you believe that this is your only life, I believe that our souls are capable of journeying far beyond what we can ever know with our physical senses.

    If you’ve read any of Wayne Dyer’s books, or Deepak Chopra’s books, you’ve come across this concept before too.

    I believe this soul of mine is what I am. My soul is who I am. My body isn’t. Look at it this way, you are not in the same body you were when you were 5 or 15 or 35, but the you that is inside is still there.

    That, my friends, is your soul and the true essence of who you are.

    My soul journey this time around has been to experience certain things that I once looked at as trauma, but that I now look at as simply the experiences through which I learned to love myself unconditionally and support others with love, compassion and understanding.

    A previous soul journey had me die in one of the world wars, (according to a palm reader), and which made perfect sense to me because I had such an ingrained and unexplainable resistance and/or avoidance of all things military. I suspect I may have also froze to death because I hate being cold…lol.

    Soul Guidance

    So what has reconnecting with my soul actually done for me? I’m glad you asked.

    While meditating yesterday morning, I received the message of “no more voids to fill”, followed by a warm wave of peacefulness within. I could try to explain how powerful message that was for me to receive but I don’t think words would actually do it justice. I also think that if you’ve been trying to fill your own internal voids, then you understand.

    The next thing I received was “magnet for good” and the image of a magnet came to mind.

    And I believe it.

    I feel it, I know it.

    And most importantly, I accept it.

    I no longer believe that I’m unworthy, or deeply flawed, or not good enough in any way.

    I’m believe I’m worthy, human and good enough in every way.

    Life will always have it’s ups and downs, laughter and tears, and difficult experiences to go through but now that I’ve reconnected with my soul, I know I’m always being guided, supported, protected and blessed.

    There is no greater gift.

    Here’s another blog you may like.

     

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  • 4 Ways To Develop A Positive Attitude Towards Life

    The way you view life impacts your experience of it and developing a positive attitude towards it rests within your grasp.

    If you’re one of the people that tends to have a less than positive attitude towards life or believe that it’s tough to change your habits, keep reading because I have good news for you.

    Here are four simple things that you can do to help you develop a positive attitude and mindset.

    How to Have a Positive Attitude

    Image Source – Pixabay CCO License

    1. Try Meditation 

    Letting go of negative thoughts and outside stress is an important part of developing a positive attitude towards life, and meditation is one of the best ways I know of to do that. When you meditate on a regular basis, you develop the ability to be present and allow thoughts to pass without judgment. When negative thoughts arise, you’ll be less likely to latch on to them and give them free reign over your actions and decisions. Instead, you will find that you are able to allow space for them to arise without attachment and as an added bonus, they’ll eventually show up less often. 

    Meditation is such an effective stress reliever, it is recommended by mental health professionals as an alternative  to medication. If you find the idea a bit daunting, or are someone who likes step by step guidance, you may want to check out this mindfulness journal. It teaches you the basic brain science of meditation and offers great tips on how to be more mindful. Your thoughts will soon start to shift and you will begin to notice more of a positive attitude and less of a negative one. 

    2. Improve Your Body Language 

    Your body language impacts everything from your mindset and attitude to the way you interact and communicate with others, but many of us don’t give it a second thought. Picture this for a moment – or better yet, try it; stand up, put your hands in your pockets, slouch your shoulders and walk around hunched over with poor posture. Chances are, you won’t be feeling energetic or enthusiastic and quite likely feel like a bit of a schlep. Now if you take your hands out of your pockets, shoulders back and down, chest open and stand tall, you will feel more confident and positive. Changing your body language may seem like a minor thing, but it makes such a huge difference to a positive attitude and the way that you approach life. 

    Superman's Positive Attitude

    3. Practice Gratitude 

    Gratitude is a powerful thing, and most of us do not practice it as much as we should. It’s easy to focus on all of the difficult things in our lives and to take the good things for granted, but this leads to a negative mindset. It also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because you get what you focus on. It’s important that you take time to think about all of the amazing things in your life, like your friends and family.

    If you need help with your gratitude practice, here’s 8 Ways To Have More Gratitude Every Day. When good things happen to you, even small things like somebody doing you a favour, allow for the grace and space to express sincere gratitude and you will feel a profound shift in attitude and perspective. When you direct your focus onto all of the positive things in life, you will experience a deeper level of appreciation and happiness.

    Positive Attitude Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

    4. Spend Time With Positive People 

    According to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, although I’ve recently read research that suggests your behaviour is affected by everyone you interact with to some degree, even friends of friends that you don’t even really know! The attitudes of those around us have a huge effect, and if you spend time with negative people, you will be influenced by them. It can be difficult to distance yourself from difficult people at work and/or negative family members, but here’s a great article that offers help, Remove Toxic People From Your Life in 9 Steps.

    If you can remove the negative influences in your life and surround yourself with positive people, it will be a lot easier to maintain a positive attitude. Keep in mind all of your connections on social media and the impact they’re having on you as well.

    Changing your mindset through meditation, having an awareness of your body language, practicing gratitude and surrounding yourself with positive people will most definitely change your attitude and your life. 

    Photo by Olia Nayda on Unsplash Positive Attitude

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  • Trauma Survivor

    I saw the sun dance on the water

    And started to cry

    I felt the warmth of the rock

    And bathed in the azure blue sky.

    An inner peace

    That hadn’t been there in years

    Taken from me as a child

    Replaced with a lifetime of fears.

    I was 10 when it happened

    On that fateful day

    That would change me forever

    And leave me never feeling ok.

    But in that moment yesterday,

    I was able to see

    Who I was at my core

    Before you changed me.

    I remembered my SELF,

    My heart and my soul.

    I remembered what it’s like

    To once again feel whole.

    All the bad fell away

    And only peace remained.

    The burden I carried

    Had finally waned.

    A trauma survivor

    Fears they’ll never truly feel ok

    Remembering who I was before trauma

    Fulfilled me in the most beautiful way.

     

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  • The Pains of Birthing a Dream

    No one said it would be easy birthing a dream

    Much like birthing a child, which is considerably easier for some than others, birthing a dream has its pains as well. But don’t let that deter you because birthing your dream/living your dream/creating your dream/following your dream/achieving your dream (regardless of what you call it) yields the highest return on investment that you could possibly imagine.

    It takes years for some people to ever see their dream come to fruition and in fact, there’s a long list of well known people that fall under that category. You’ve heard the stories about famous people finding success later in life, (Oprah, Samual Jackson, Stan Lee, Vera Wang, Henry Ford, Charles Darwin, Ray Croc, the list goes on) but in this day and age of instant gratification, people give up on their dreams every day.

    It’s also important to realize that many people that do achieve their dreams end up creating something far beyond what they’d originally envisioned.

    Which goes to show you, it’s not even about the end result, it’s about the journey and who you become in the process.

    Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash
    It’s a long road to birthing your dream but the view is breathtaking.

    Birthing pains of bringing your dream to life

    Birthing pains, growing pains, pains of loss and pains of regret. They are all part of the birthing process of a dream. You have a stellar idea, a spark of inspiration, a feeling of “what if?”, and you find yourself filled with inspiration, motivation and a sudden urge to quit your job and start something new.

    While that may work for some lucky few, it may not be the best approach.

    Your dream birthing journey may also be ignited by that small, quiet voice within becoming stronger and louder for years to the point at which you decide (after reaching the highlight of your current career) that you will indeed quit your job, take a huge leap of faith and follow your bliss. This is a tough route but extremely courageous and admirable in my eyes because that’s exactly what I did.

    And let me tell you, the pains and the struggle have been real.

    However, I’d never be the one to tell you not to do it.

    Jennifer Grigg birthing a dream
    There’s a certain inner bliss that comes from birthing a dream.

    Patience and persistence required in birthing your dream

    The salve for birthing pains is largely based on two things; a healthy (the healthiest you can possibly imagine) dose of patience and an interminable persistence. Bringing your dream into reality will take every inch of your heart, your soul, your bank account and your belief in yourself.

    And then some.

    The pains of birthing a dream are not for the faint of heart.

    I didn’t believe it was for me either at first. Actually, let me rephrase that. I believed in the dream, it was myself I didn’t fully believe in. Perhaps the best part about this journey so far has been developing that belief along the way. I remind myself everyday that if I’ve made it this far, I can continue to forge on.

    You absolutely have to keep going – no matter what. Like the seed of human protoplasm that takes 9 months to grow and evolve to the point of presenting its amazing self to the world, you must press on until your time has come. The kicker is, unlike birthing a child, you have no idea when that time will be.

    Birthing a dream takes forever
    Birthing a dream feels like it takes for-ev-er!

    Doubt and Disbelief – the killers of living the dream

    According to the website Quora.com, “blind faith is having completely confidence in someone or something without any reason to do so. … Now the term “blind faith” could alternatively mean, having faith in something which you cannot observe scientifically.”

    You need to have faith, be it blind or otherwise, to birth your dreams. You will most assuredly at some point (or many points) along the way doubt what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, why you’re doing it, who you’re doing it for, and/or how much time you’re taking to do it.

    I’m here to tell you,

    “it’s ok, that’s all part of the dream birthing process.”

    You’ll even find yourself in a state of shock and disbelief at the most inopportune times, such as when you actually start doing the thing you’ve dreamed of doing and are gripped by your amygdala firing off a stress response that results in a completely blank slate where your most inspiring thoughts and ideas were a mere second before and which were about to come out of your mouth in front of a crowd of people.

    Terrifying? Yes.

    Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

    Do you know what’s even more terrifying? The fear of not living your life.

    Dramatic, I know.

    But that’s what my honest-to-goodness fear is and it’s the one that keeps me up at night when doubt and disbelief sneak in and threaten to stop the birthing of my dream.

    No one said it would be easy but…

    I will tell you something that I know to be true;

    Never will you feel more alive, free, exhilarated, awake and aware. Even if you start out as the most meek, shy, introverted, not-confident, impatient, insecure, feeling-like-a-wanna-be, over thinker, under doer dreamer, you CAN and WILL be able to achieve your dream.

    Cue the inspirational music…

    Because who you become in the process of enduring the pains of birthing your dream is like no one you could’ve ever imagined. (Don’t get me wrong you can absolutely imagine a better you, because that dream is what got you here reading this blog in the first place but you’ve no idea how much better it can be than even your wildest dreams.)

    Let me say that again because it’s super important.

    You start with thinking the dream, feeling the dream, envisioning the dream, but it’s in following the dream and taking action on the dream that you evolve into a whole new you.

    The pains of birthing a dream.

    A beauty like you’ve never known.

    Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash birthing a dream
    You live “arms wide open” when you finally birth your dream.

    Want to read more of what I dream about? Listening to the voice within, living your life, real connection, what I have in common with Richard Branson, etc…

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  • Listening to the Voice Within and the Success it Brought Me

    I can’t believe it’s been a year already since I put out a post looking for a fire department to do free training with. 😲 It’s caused me to pause and reflect on my 18-month entrepreneurial journey thus far. 🙃

    When I left my job at the fire college, I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do (coaching and speaking) and a dream in my heart, but no real game plan. Probably not the smartest way to go about something but I’ve always been a “follow your bliss” kinda girl and felt it was time for me to do just that. 🙂

    Jennifer Grigg photo

    👉🏻 I enrolled in a Holistic Wellness Coaching program through IAWP (International Association of Wellness Professionals) because I firmly believe everything in our lives is interrelated – mind, body, spirit and our internal and external lives. (I’m still working to complete that course, btw. 😂 It fell by the wayside but I’m back on track and down to my last couple modules.) 💁‍♀️ Not giving up on it because I still believe in it and it was a solid first investment in myself and in my dream ($1950 US).

    👉🏻 Then I came across a certification course for Body Language Trainers with the inspiring TedTalker and bestselling author, Vanessa Van Edwards, and amazingly managed to find a way to fund the tuition, (which was about $6000 US). As an introvert and people watcher 👀, I’ve always been fascinated by the science and psychology of human behaviour and what makes people tick. This program was a complete game-changer for this chick! 🌟

    👉🏻 While I had both of those going on, I also enrolled in a group mentoring program with a woman named Tara Marino whose company is called Elegant Femme, with several other ladies that I’d never met, which took me to a weekend retreat in Outer Banks, NC. It was an amazing experience and helped me face and overcome things that had held me back much of my life, which was necessary if I was ever going to be in a position to coach others! 😄 That was another $3400 US.

    OBX Sunset

    👉🏻 I also hired someone to design a website for me (that was easily $2500 cad by the time it was all done with website hosting platforms, website theme, registered domain names, email marketing, etc etc). I likely could’ve done this in a more cost-effective and simpler way especially since I was just starting out, but not knowing what I was really doing at the time, it seemed to make sense. 🤓

    👉🏻 I’ve given my ALL to this dream mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually. I’ve gone through months of no income, I’ve experienced many times when I totally lost faith in my ability to create a business out of thin air (who does something like that and actually succeeds at it?? I’d ask myself). I’ve had highs of making amazing income to lows when I’m in not active in coaching and training and wonder what the hell I’m doing.

    👉🏻 HOWEVER, seeing this post today made me realize how far I’ve really come.

    🌟 I’ve met the most amazing people (mostly firefighters but also municipal staff) through delivering body language training.

    🌟 I traveled to BC (a long-standing dream of mine) to present at the BCAFC (BC Association of Fire Chiefs) conference in June. Best road trip shared with my one and only Earl Grigg and my best presentation ever because I not only overcame the worst anxiety but realized how in my zone I am with sharing body language science).

    Jennifer Grigg

    And perhaps the greatest gift of all,

    🌟 I’ve learned and grown in ways that I NEVER would’ve had I not taken this journey. I’ve learned to do things I had no idea how to do when I started out and I’ve grown into a woman who knows what she wants (most of the time 😂 ) and knows WITHOUT A DOUBT that she can achieve it. A faith in myself that I never would’ve experienced if I’d stayed on the path I was on.

    If you’ve read to the end of this post, I have a message for you…

    You absolutely can and should pursue what sets your soul on fire! 🔥Because that, my friend, is the ONLY thing that will truly fill you up and allow you to bring your best self to this world and to the people in your life.

    No more excuses.
    No more waiting.
    No more what ifs.

    If this anxiety-ridden introvert with no self-confidence can make a go of it and change her life in the process, YOU CAN TOO! 🥰

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  • This is it…your call to action

    This is the sign you've been looking for

    If you’re waiting for a call to action, this is it.

    This is it…your call to action. The sign you’ve been looking for. No matter what it is you’re mulling over, thinking about, flip flopping in regards to or contemplating, the time is now. Make a move.

    Stop waiting for the right time, the right feeling, the right circumstances and/or the right people. Just do it. Take the job, take a chance, make a move, pick one thing and just do it.  We spend our whole lives waiting for things to be just right to do the thing we’re dying to do, and then never end up doing that thing we want to do because things never seemed to be…just right. Waiting for things to be “just right” is waiting for them to be perfect, which they’re never going to be. So you spend your valuable time waiting to do it, rather than actually doing it. 

    News flash

    There is no perfect. Nothing is or ever will be perfect. Things can be pretty damn awesome, amazing, phenomenal, incredible or stunning, but don’t set yourself up by hoping or expecting things to be perfect. Anyone with perfectionist tendencies will tell you (if they’re honest with themselves and with you) that perfectionism is a killer of dreams, of creativity, of living life to the fullest. Trust me, I know. I’m constantly challenging myself to let go of perfectionism once and for all, but since I’m a perfectionist, I haven’t quite gotten it just right yet…

    This is a friendly reminder from the universe, via yours truly, that sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath and jump. This is it. No easing into it, testing the waters, or dipping one foot in. Just jump right in with both feet and the rest of your entire body and give it your all. Give all of yourself to it, whatever it is for you right now. This is your call to action.

    Man taking a leap and answering a call to action

    There is no failure

    There is no failing. No wrong moves, incorrect choices or astronomical  errors. Every action you take provides a result. Make a move, get a result. If you don’t like the result, make another choice and try something different. It may be that you just need to tweak the action you took. Life is all about experience.

    You create experiences through the choices you make and the action you take.

    Your call to action

    Sitting around thinking about the life you want to live, the things you want to do and the experiences you’d like to have will never get you those experiences. The only thing that will get you the life you want, the things you want, and the experiences you want, is to TAKE ACTION. Do something. Do anything. One little step. One giant step. This is it. This is your time.

    Need some more inspiration? Check out this quick video by Mel Robbins or this one by Rachel Hollis. Or for the fellas, this one by Ed Mylett. 

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  • Create A Shift in Your Thinking

    Sunrise shift in perspective
    Sunrise – A shift in perspective

    Perception is Everything

    How do you think a shift in your thinking happens? Naturally, organically, of it’s own accord? Does it need to be precipitated by an outside experience or event? How and when does your perception of a situation change? What causes a shift in your thinking? I often find that I get a new perspective from reading and I’m an obsessive reader. I love, love, love my books. Sometimes, it will be a movie that spurs a change of awareness, and often times it’s from a deep conversation with a kindred spirit.

    I Am Not Your Guru

    I’ve had many “a-ha” moments of sudden understanding or awareness in my life and I seem to be going through a phase where they’re occurring in increasing frequency. So, so many shifts in perception and my thinking. In fact, it’s one of these very moments that inspired me to write this blog, in this moment. I’m watching the Tony Robbins Documentary, I AM NOT YOUR GURU for the third time. It’s been probably a year or two since I last watched it and I’m amazed at things that I’d missed the first and second time, that are capturing my attention now.

    Tony Robbins purpose.com
    Tony Robbins from purpose.com

    Truth Hurts

    You know that thing you’re struggling with right now? Probably just popped into your head, whatever that thing is for you. If it didn’t, you’re likely consciously avoiding letting yourself think about it. One might even go so far as to say that you’re in denial about it. 😉 Do yourself a favour and let it surface because there’s a serious shift in your thinking waiting for you in this.

    Whatever you’re struggling with, I’m willing to bet that you’re blaming someone else for it and holding someone else accountable. It’s so much easier to blame them than take responsibility for it ourselves. If we take responsibility for it, we have to do something about it, or chose not to as the case may be. Here’s the kicker, you’re giving your power away to them, AND, they probably have no idea, nor do they care, that they’re seemingly holding the cards of your life right now.

    I know it may suck to hear this, but I’ve lived this so I totally get it. I blamed my depression, anxiety and PTSD on some ill begotten friends of my brothers who made incredibly poor choices about how to behave with me as a 10 year old and proceeded to blame them until I was in my 40’s.

    Like I said, I get it.

    this is what depression looks like
    This is what depression looks like.

    The Shift in Your Thinking

    Here’s where the shift in your thinking happens. Whether your struggle is with your financial issues (that you may be blaming your parents for because they controlled the money and didn’t teach you how to have a relationship with it), or for the women-men issues (because you didn’t get the love you craved from your dad so you’ve spent much of your adult life placing that burden on your spouse), or for the men-perhaps the opposite, being mom issues (I can’t specifically speak to this one but it’s likely the same as the daddy issues we women tend to have), or the whole insecure, self worth, self esteem issue (that I blamed those boys for). Yes, those are all my real life issues I’ve worked through, aside from the mom-son dynamic obviously.

    Whatever you’re blaming that one person (or group of people for), you also need to thank them for. Blame them for the good, but also blame them for the (perceived) bad. Because whatever you hated about that situation/struggle/experience/relationship, those same elements have caused you to be the opposite/look for the opposite/create the opposite in your life.

    Stick with me here…

    My financial issues stem from me not understanding money; it’s value, it’s worth, it’s place in my life. As a child, my dad worked and my mom stayed home and volunteered at the Y. In my limited awareness that a youngster has, I saw that my dad had the money and made the decisions. If I asked for something I wanted, such as the clothes that the cool kids were wearing (Beaver Canoe, Gender Benders, Tretorns, Roots, etc.) I was made to feel guilty for wanting those things, selfish for asking for those things, and ultimately that I didn’t deserve to have those things. Tell me that doesn’t mess you up to have those (unconscious) beliefs running in the background all your freakin’ life!

    The Flip Side

    The flip side of feeling negative about the lessons learned from my dad (like men control the money, and I’m not worthy of having money). The shift in thinking came when I realized that I learned positive lessons from his as well, like the fact that I have a great credit rating (because I’m good at paying my debts). The problem is that we tend to focus on the negative, like way too much, and flat out deny any good that came from the situation.

    Another Example

    I mentioned the bit about my brother’s friends and without getting into all that here (my book is available on this website if you’re interested in the rest of the story). For years, and I mean years, they had power over me, first because I didn’t tell anyone until I was in my late 30’s, and secondly because I allowed them to have that power. Once I started working with a therapist, I was able to reframe those experiences and what they meant, but that’s in the book too.

    Rewriting Life An Introvert's Journey: Finding Peace & Perspective Through the Denial & Depression
    Rewriting Life An Introvert’s Journey: Finding Peace & Perspective Through the Denial & Depression

    Blame Game

    My point here is that I blamed them for my low self esteem, fear of life in generally, fear of people, my shyness, low self worth, insecurities with males in general, I could go on. It was supremely beneficial for me to take back my power but also even more powerful to be able to blame them for the good. The early experiences shaped the person I am today and allow me to lead with compassion and empathy for people almost like it’s a default setting.

    But also, and perhaps even more amazing, is that those experiences taught me to treat people better. To never want to put someone in a difficult situation, make anyone feel uncomfortable, or take advantage of anyone. I thank them for making me an advocate for mental health issues, respectful treatment of each other and empowering women, and men, to make better choices. It taught me to seek out and create a marriage that is kind, respectful and nurturing, where there is a balance of power and no one is over powering the other.

    The Gift

    I’m so much better of a person now than I would’ve ever been had those (traumatic at the time) experiences not ever happened to me.

    A shift in your thinking, looking for the positive lessons that you’ve learned from those you blame for the negative, will change your life. It will create space to breathe where there was restriction before. It will allow lightness where there was heaviness, and will open you to new levels of healing, of love and forgiveness that you never thought was possible.

    I would not have the drive, the compassion or the perseverance I have today if it weren’t for my life experiences when I was younger, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I happily “blame” my dad, my brother’s friends, and every other seemingly negative experience I’ve ever had for making me who I am today.

    Jennifer Grigg

     

     

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  • Beating Yourself Up? Stop Doing It!

    pink roseWhy Do We Beat Ourselves Up?

    When is the last time you beat yourself up over something? For me, it’s today. Like right now, or at least, up until about 5 minutes ago. Heed my words; Stop Beating Yourself Up. It gets you NOWHERE, makes you feel like SH*T, and keeps you stuck in the same place FOREVER. But sadly, it’s also a nasty habit for many of us.

    Here’s What I’m Beating Myself Up Over Today

    I’m just going to be completely honest and throw it out there. Starting your own business is hard. Being an entrepreneur (if I can even call myself that) is hard. Following your own path is freakin’ hard. But so is showing up for a job everyday that your heart and soul isn’t into. It sucks the life out of you. You are literally trading your valuable time for a hard earned dollar. At least, that’s how I felt for most of the jobs I’ve done throughout my life (most but not all, I loved being an Fire Prevention Officer and a Fire Inspector.) It’s also what drives most people down the entrepreneurial path.

    Overall I’m much happier now (and over the course of the last 10 months since I left my full time job), then I ever was working for someone else. However, I’ve now traded money for my valuable time. I love what I’m doing (creating a coaching business) and how I’m doing it (working from home and working almost all the time) and why I’m doing it (because it’s not only a passion, but why I feel I’m here on this earth at this particular point in time-to help others learn to love themselves as I’ve learned to do).

    female entrepreneur signs

    Why am I beating myself up then? Well, since you asked, I’m beating myself up over the whole money thing. I’ve managed to go through my savings and dented my credit cards substantially to get myself to this point. I’m proud that I’ve managed 10 months for the most part on my own, but will fully admit to having to turn to my husband for help with my vehicle payment the last little while. Which is both shameful to me and totally unempowering. That in and of itself is a cause for the critical voice within to unleash it’s fury.

    My Critical Voice

    What I hear my voice saying to me are things such as:

    1. See, I told you you couldn’t just make money by being you and following your dreams
    2. Loser
    3. You don’t know anything about building a business
    4. You’re burdening your husband and causing him stress
    5. You’re not a good role model for your daughters when it comes to being responsible with money
    6. Quitting your full time job was not a responsible thing to do
    7. What are you going to do now since you don’t seem to be getting this off the ground
    8. You better figure this out, and fast.
    9. You don’t really believe in yourself like you think you do
    10. I knew you didn’t have it in you.

    It goes on, but I won’t. I think you get the picture.

    As these things were floating through my mind on repeat this morning, I decided I’d had enough. I realized that it totally was not productive and it felt like sh*t. I would not dream of talking to another person the way I’ve been talking to myself, so why on earth would I berate myself in such a way?

    The Path to Self Acceptance

    Why do I need to stop beating myself up? Because it’s stupid and it sucks. Plain and simple. So you need to stop beating yourself up too. Here’s how we’re going to do it; 1) write down all those BS thoughts you’re having. Get it all out. Do a bubble drawing or a brainstorming or a list or whatever works for you. You really have to see it on paper to really appreciate how sh*tty you’re being to yourself. 2) Write the opposite. Make a list or bubble chart of all the things you’d rather feel about that situation, or why you want it. 3) Go back through and with a voice of reason, respond to the nasty things you said to yourself, and/or find helpful suggestions to take steps toward feeling the way you’d rather feel.

    Being aware of your thoughts and the critical voice in your head is the first step in getting this under control. Cutting yourself some slack is another important and critical factor in finding peace in this situation.

    You are doing the best you can with the awareness that you have right now. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

    Kill It With Kindess

    Here is my antidote to beating myself up, in addition to everything I just shared with you. Find 4 simple sentences that get to the heart of your journey right now. Here’s what I know;

    I’m a good person

    I’m a kind soul

    I just want to help others heal

    I am finding my way.

    Keep going back to your 3 or 4 or 5 sentences/mantras/verses anytime you start beating yourself up. Be as kind and gentle with yourself as you would your best friend.

    PS I’m also working on creating that magical balance so that I’m not trading time for money OR money for time. When I get that nailed down, I’ll be sure and let you know how I did it! 😉

    girl watching sunrise

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